Dear mom, I'm sorry

• T H I S I S N 'T O V E R ..

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Al-Mughirah ibn Sha'bah reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said:
Verily, Allah has forbidden you from neglecting your duty to your mothers."

Source: 📕Sahih Bukhari 5630

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As Fatima walked back home, flashback of her conversation with the doctor started recurring slowly into her head, making her pondering about her life a lot.

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"I am sorry, Mrs Khan but we have to switch off the life support machine."

My face suddenly took on a pale look, as if I'd been painted with white-wash - even my lips were barely there. Then with one step backwards I crumpled like a puppet and I found myself on the cold wooden floor.

He directly ran into me and seized my arm firmly to hold me back. "Ma'am, don't leave us."

"I have no reason to be alive anymore." I murmured inaudibly. He patted my shoulder, sympathizing. "Don't say that."

I brusquely got up and turned to him, with a begging face. "Give us more time, I am sure that she'd wake up she just needs time to process"!

"Ma'am, keeping her alive costs much more than expected! And one of her lung is completely damaged due to the cigarette"!

"Every single day, you are here, praying and hoping that she could wake up, but do you see any sign of life"? He cocked bitterly his head to the side.

"It is over. We can't save her, we'd switch her off tomorrow."

He headed for the door but I quickened my steps and stood in front of him, preventing him from getting out. "Give me a break! A day, two days, a month! I am ready to pay a billion of dollars for it" I requested.

"But please" I trailed off, my voice on the verge of cracking. "You can't switch my daughter like that, at least not yet."

"But what can we do? There's no solution unless you spell it out"! He revealed.

I stayed quiet as I landed my eyes on the floor, thoughtful. I redirected my eyes back to him and revealed with seriousness and determination.

"I have a solution,"

"But you need to trust me."

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As she arrived home, she inserted the keys, opened the door and drops the keys on the countertop. There she slowly sat on the sofa and rested her head into her hands. She was all alone that day.

Adam was sent to his friends around the neighbourhood and they were supposed to come back within an hour or two. Without waiting, she showered and changed her clothes before spending the entire day making Dua and crying to Allah.

It was almost dinner time when Adam was brought back from his journey home by his granny's best-friend. Hardly had he entered the house when he took of his shoes and immediately ran into his mom's room.

There, Fatima was sitting on the floor, her knees tucked to her chest, elbows resting on her knees, and her hands covering her face.

As Adam saw her mother in that state, he suppressed a smile and drawn closer. 

"Mom, why you're crying again"? Adam asks softly as he sat next to his mother. She looked over to him with a blank expression and flashed a weak smile as she took his hands. "Adam, dear, would you pinky promise to mom something"?

Adam nods and replies with his cute soft voice. "Yes mommy."

Fatima breathed heavily looking up as if she tried not to cry.
"Please, promise me that – no matter what you'll always be good to your sister, okay"? Her cheeks were wet with her tears. But she didn't wipe them away.

"I will try mommy." Adam said not really understanding. "But why are you saying that"? He asked in his five years old voice.

"I just want you to be a good man, and treat women with kindness because they are queen."

"But you're my only one queen, mommy. I love you."

Only Allah Knows how unbearable it was for Fatima to display a smile to her son when the only thing her heart wanted was to cry.

"Mommy loves you more than you ever imagine, I hope you know that." A single tear slid down from her warm, butterscotch eyes, followed by another one, and another one, until soon, a steady stream of salty tears flowed its way down her pale cheek, releasing the sadness and sorrow that has been held inside of her.

Adam grins but his smile faded afterwards. "But it doesn't tell me why you're still crying .." he noticed hesitant.

In response, she just squeezed her arms in a tighter fraction and wrapped them around his shoulders, pulling him close and gently rubbing his arm. Adam sunk into the warmth of her side, appreciating this gesture. In his mother's arms Adam felt her soft baby skin against his.

He felt safe and his worries disappeared like rain on summer earth. In that embrace he was cocooned well than any butterfly-to-be. He squeezed the embrace gently but tighter as if he knew deep inside that ..

It was going to be their last time ...