(1) Puppet (Preview)

Thirteen: The Funeral

I nodded. "Fine." I allowed the car to support my body as I watched my mother leave. She was acting stranger than usual.

"Ella!" A high-pitched voice caught my attention. I turned my head to see Crystal running up towards me, despite the fact that she was wearing heels. She had on a strapless black summer dress. Once she stood in front of me, she let out a quiet giggle. "Hey, girlie."

With narrowed eyes, I took a step closer to her and sniffed the air. "Are you seriously drunk right now?"

Her eyes flickered around in an act of innocence. "Maybe."

I sighed. "Do you have any more? I think I'll need a little kick to get me through today."

Still giggling, Crystal brought her purse up and dug through it. She pulled out a flask and handed it to me as if it were candy. I took a few swigs, allowing the burning sensation to travel down my throat. After a shudder from the alcohol, I handed her back the flask.

"Thanks."

"Not a problem!" Crystal and I linked arms as we headed towards the church. "It's kind of weird, right? She was our friend in middle school."

"Yeah," I replied slowly. "It's hard to believe."

Inside, we found Kat sitting near the middle and joined her. The moment we sat down, her accusing eyes examined us. "Seriously?"

"Don't judge us," Crystal complained. "We used to be best friends with Ashley. We just needed a little something."

Kat's eyes softened as she remembered. "Are you two doing okay?"

"I'm doing great," Crystal replied with a lazy grin.

"I'm doing marvelously." It was a lie. There was an aching feeling inside of me that seemed to amplify as my eyes went to the picture of a smiling Ashley. I had been quite close with her up until I followed her outside during freshman year. After that, she avoided me like the plague.

Her secret would not be buried with her body.

On the other side of the church, I noticed Carter and Donovan sitting with a few other guys. I hadn't talked with him since the beach day, about a week ago. I didn't blame him for avoiding me. Or maybe I did. I told him how I felt. That was all I could do.

♦

After the service, I nudged my way through the restless crowd in order to reach her mother, Carol. Her eyes were tinted red and her cheeks puffy from her suffering. Once her tired eyes settled on mine, she gave me a weak smile.

My arms wrapped around her frail body and I soothingly rubbed her back. I was trying to throw together words I could possibly say to her, but nothing would come up.

"It's good to see you," she said after we broke apart.

"You too," I replied, pulling on a tight smile. I gently squeezed her hands. "Have you seen my mother yet?"

Soft blond hair brushed her cheeks as she shook her head. "Not yet."

I could tell the people behind me were getting anxious to say their condolences. I gave her one last smile before letting go. I turned around and pushed through the people. I was desperate to get out of there as fast as possible.

Funerals made me uncomfortable.

A breath of fresh air filled my lungs the moment I stepped outside. I grasped the railing in sudden desperation for stability. My eyes traveled to the bottom of the steps. I imagined a little girl curled up with long black hair covering most of her body. Sobbing alone. Grieving her deceased brother. Supposedly deceased.