Boyfriend + Brother || Shawn Mendes

chapter 35

The second the words leave her lips, the atmosphere thickens so much that it's almost suffocating. Shawn's entire body deflates and the colour drains from his face. I look back to Caitlin She's weeping now, and it's the kind of crying that looks like it hurts, the kind that causes you to lose your breath. Now I really do think I'm going to hurl. Shawn seems to lose his voice, the only sound he can breathe out being a minute whisper. "What?"

she starts to back away from us, her cheeks stained with tears and run mascara from her broken heart. I feel like someone has just punched me and knocked me out, and I am wishing someone will. I hear the door creak open but I am too numb to even glance over. 

"what is with all the racket guys?" its Manny. I can tell he has just seen the mess called Caitlin's face and I can hear his chest gasp for air as he sees the total devastation and anger scrawled over her face. "What on earth is going on?" I hear him demand.

 Shawn doesn't say a word. I think he is in shock. he is just staring at Caitlin, his lips parted, his eyes an ocean of different emotions.  I finally glance over and I see mum walking up behind Manny and I know exactly what they are both thinking. They are wondering why Shawn looks like he is having a heart attack and Caitlin is a depressing and screwed up wreck heading for the door.

when she reaches them and shoves inbetween to get to the other side, she stops and turns back, sniffling back her sobs as she meets my eyes.

"you can all go to hell and as for you ellie, you are the biggest slut I know and You're a worthless piece of shit that nobody gives a damn about so I hope you go crawl into a hole and die." she yells

"you bitch!" Shawn growls at her, snapping out of his frozen state just as she disappears walking down the stairs.

Her words echo in my mind so loudly that it hurts.  I throw my hand over my mouth, the other rigidly clutching my shirt as I fall to my knees as I begin to sob, my eyelids shut so tightly they began to fidget and shudder from the bullish force, I feel as though my eyes are being pricked with a needle. I cry silent tears that I feel run down my probable tomato red cheeks and I weep over my knuckles until finally the balls of salt drip onto the floor with as much a sound as my pain.  

"Oh, my god! what just happened!?" Karen shouts running over to me swallowing me whole in her arms and shushing me as she strokes my head. I grab hold of her and cry into her shirt.

"Shawn. please tell me I just misheard what the girl just called ellie!?" Manny says furiously. Im holding my breath as I look up to Shawn.he is still snow white and his lips are quivering. He is just standing there again. overwhelmed by everything that he has ended up paralysed. there are probably a million thoughts flying through his head right now.

He looks down at his hands then when he looks up I can see the pained expression in his eyes again. "I broke up with her because she was blackmailing Me into staying with her and she took it out on ellie because she is friends with lana"

"and why was she blackmailing you, honey?" Karen whispers

"because she found out about that I was writing music and Andrew said I had to Keep it private and away from the public eye but when Caitlin was going through some of my stuff while I was downstairs, she found my notebooks and read them. she threatened to tell everyone if I ever broke up with her which was so stupid because she was acting like a 2-year-old but I agree with her"

"Oh son! are you being serious?!" Manny says coldly.

"yes." Shawn throws his head down to the floor again. "Im sorry ellie for dragging you into this mess. it was never your drama to deal with and it was mine and you should have never become a part of it." im slightly confused now. what is going on?

Shawn stuffs his hands into the pockets of his jeans and walks past our parents. He moves in such a melancholy and bitter manner, with his shoulders low and his steps slow.

"Baby? are you, okay?" Karen looks at me with a worried look on my face" everything has just hit me like a ton of brick and I am feeling very overwhelmed and emotional so I start crying again and mum just clutches me into her chest comforting me.

I have always wondered what it was like to have a mum. growing up I never had one. dad rarely ever went out or ever tried going on dates because his main priority was me and work which is sad to think about as he must feel rather lonely.

 The sweet smell of jasmine lingers on her shirt as she helps me stand up and brings me down the stairs to the bathroom. I have a quick shower and once I am out and dried, Karen gives me her big fluffy dressing robe which was unbelievably comfy and large that it swallows me up whole. I go downstairs with her and we go sit down in the living room. Aaliyah comes in and she sits on the other side of me and leans in for a hug. I am surrounded by love. we decide to watch the fault in our stars and Manny brings us a bowl of popcorn to share. I am glad I am not alone.

"I am so proud of you, ellie,"Karen whispers in my ear. 

"thank you for being the best big sister ever!" Aaliyah says squeezing my arm and giving me a kiss on the cheek.

"I love you guys" I feel a tear run down my cheek. I feel like I finally have a family.

***

I am lying awake in my bed staring up at the ceiling. After the movie was finished both Aaliyah and mum had fallen asleep. I left them on the sofa and wrapped a blanket around them and I went up to bed soon after. I sit up and push the duvet of my legs and run my fingers through my hair. I can't stop thinking about Shawn and the fact he is going to be a dad. I cannot imagine how he must be feeling.

I stand up and I walk over to my door and slowly turn the handle trying to not make it squeak. I tiptoe across the landing and I stand outside shawns closed door. I sneak in through the door and I see a sleeping Shawn who was still wearing his clothes from earlier on, I guess he was just too tired from all the drama today that he forgot to get changed or even turn his lamp off but either way he looks absolutely gorgeous.

I stand by the side of his bed as I watch him quietly snore. I chuckle to myself, he looks so peaceful as he sleeps. I lean over and after pulling a curl away from his eyes a place my lips close to his ear.

"I think I am falling in love with you, shawn" I whisper. I then slowly place my lips on the side of his cheek and softly kiss him.

I  turn his light off and head back to my room but as soon as I am about to sleep through the doorway I hear a hushed sound of Shawn calling my name.

"ellie? is that you?" 

"Yeah, it is. how are you feeling?" I answer turning myself back around to see him again.

"um.. er..not good." I see the shadow of him rubbing his eyes and running his fingers through his hair.

"do you want to talk about it?" I ask

"no. not really?" he sighs

"Oh okay" I reply. " is there anything I can do? 

"yes, actually. you can come over here and give me a cuddle" he says. I smile at him knowing that it would cheer me up too as I walk over and slip myself under his covers and wrap my arm around his chest and lean my head into his shoulder.

I feel him kiss my forehead and feel his leg pulling me in closer to his body. We have never once just hugged. sure I have kissed him- we have even slept together- but we have never just held each other and I can only wish that it is the first of many because I love the way he circles my skin with his thumb and the way our legs twist together. I love the way my body seems to fit perfectly with his and I love the way his soft lips give me butterfly kisses down my neck. Gawd! what is this guy doing to me? I think.

I sense him smiling "I think I am falling in love with you too, ellie"

***