l - teen wolf imagines

Stiles - I Am In Control

Stiles hurried to his dorm room, fumbling with the keys as he struggled to unlock the door. He finally got the right one and turned the lock with shaking hands, and when the door swung open, the room was pitch black.
He flicked on the light and walked over to his bed, not even bother to get on it, but instead sinking to the floor at the foot of it. He put his face his hands and muttered to himself.

"God dammit," he swore. "God dammit!"
He slammed his fist against the wood of the bed, and flinched in pain. He sighed to himself and bitterly wiped away a tear, telling himself that he never should have been so stupid. Of course he had wanted to kiss you, but he couldn't do that when he was hiding so much from you. He never should have thought he could in the first place.

You were obviously aware that you were missing something, you just couldn't tell what it was, and as Stiles sat there, he realized something. Scott and the others had been wrong about taking your memories. Maybe it had given you a little bit of peace, but it had messed you up in an entirely different way. You didn't even know who you were anymore, and it wasn't even your fault.

The Pack's choices had caused your existential crisis, and now that Stiles had seen what you were going through firsthand, he saw that it hadn't done much to help you.

In that moment, he realized what he had to do, and he yanked his phone out of the pocket of his jeans. He dialed Scott's number, praying he would pick up, and to his surprise, he did.
"What's up, dude?" he asked.
"I kissed her," he told him glumly.
"What?" Scott demanded. "Y/n? You kissed Y/n? Stiles, you were supposed to be keeping your distance!"

"I tried!" he protested. "But there were no rooms to switch into. There won't be any openings for at least two months. And then I went to this party, right? And as I was walking up, I saw Y/n, and she was protecting this drunk girl. Some frat asshole was trying to mess with her, and Y/n tried to get him to back off. He got in her face, and I swear to god, Scott, I watched her break his nose with the heel of her hand. She almost broke his arm too."
Scott sighed. "Sounds like Y/n."
"But she freaked out," Stiles continued. "She said she had no idea where she learned it."
"It makes sense," Scott said. "But...you kissed her?"
"Yeah," Stiles said with a sigh.
"Was it good?" Scott asked curiously.
"Scott!" Stiles cried.
"I'm just saying," the Alpha continued. "I mean, you've been waiting to do that since you met her, right? Was it everything you thought it would be?"
"No," Stiles breathed.

"God, it was so much more. And the worst part was, I didn't even initiate it. She kissed me first. And then I pushed her away."

"You pushed her away?" Scott repeated, disbelief evident in his voice.

"I know," Stiles told him. "Doesn't sound like me at all, right? But I was thinking about what you said, and I just freaked. I couldn't lie to her anymore, so I just ran."

"How did this even happen?" Scott wondered.

"We were sitting on the roof of the dorm," Stiles said. "After we called that girl's friends to come get her. And Y/n was talking about what happened, about how she felt like she was just missing something. How she felt like she didn't even know who she was anymore."

He heard Scott sigh through the phone, and Stiles swallowed. "We have to tell her the truth."
"What? Stiles, no-" he protested.

"No," Stiles said firmly. "Scott, if you could see her, you'd see how wrecked she is. Maybe she went through hell, okay? But we should have given her time to heal. And now? She's still going through hell, except that this time, she'll never figure out how to heal. She'll never figure out who she is, Scott. She'll never know. And that's going to tear her apart. I can't let happen to her."