28 Days | Jungkook ✔

Honesty

Jungkook cackles. "Oh, I'm not that great.."

"No, for real. I had a conspiracy theory that you were a robot because no human being could be that perfect. I tried to convince my friends that you were a project from the government to create the most flawless, unemotional being."

"Unemotional?" Jungkook asked.

"Yeah, I thought only an unemotional being could pretend our friendship was nothing and become my enemy."

I cover my mouth right after, realizing I shouldn't have said that. But it was too late. The damage was done.

      "Our friendship did mean something to me. Y/n.." Jungkook quietly whispers.

     I snicker. "Well it felt like it didn't...I worshipped you as a kid and then suddenly you stopped talking to me. You didn't even give me a second glance, until I became a victim of your occasional pranks."

      Jungkook remains quiet.

      "And you know what the worst part was? I actually looked forward to those pranks. I looked forward to you humiliating me, destroying my reputation. Because then I finally caught your attention."
A single tear fell on my cheek. Oh gosh, now I'm also crying.

        Jungkook doesn't say a word and I continue.

          "You know why? Because my ex-friend finally noticed me again. I was finally worthy of my hero's attention. And I should have asked why you started those pranks in the first place...but was I even important enough to receive an answer? Would you laugh if I asked?"

         Jungkook interrupts me. "Y/n, I wouldn't have laughed."

      "Well I didn't have the courage to ask. I couldn't because what if you told me I meant nothing to you? So I immaturely pranked you in retaliation. But this whole time, I was praying you would man up and apologize. But I was just a hopeless fool," I told him.

       Jungkook begins bawling again, his eyes completely dripped in tears. He covers his face with one of his hands, in shame.

       I made the situation much worse. But I was too angry to care.

       "I was so jealous of Yoongi, Hoseok and Jin. You openly hung out with them but you hated me, probably because you were too embarrassed," I inferred.

       Jungkook mutters. "I never was embarrassed to be around you-"

         "Did you know that everytime you stayed after school, I would too? I would walk around the playground, hoping you'd notice me. Hoping you'd hang out with me and we could be friends again. But you never did. That was really all a waste of time of my childhood-"

            "I did notice you. I was avoiding you on purpose..." Jungkook whispers.

        "Why? What did I ever deserve for you to destroy our friendship? Was I too mean? Was I not worthy? Was I too ugly?" I demanded to know.

       "You were anything but ugly...I avoided you because you were too beautiful," Jungkook whispers.

      I rolled my eyes. "That makes zero sense. If I were as beautiful as you said, you'd want to be around me-"

       Jungkook grabs my arm. "Listen to me. You were too beautiful for me to even deserve you. And the day I stopped talking to you was the same day my mom died. And your kindness...it reminded me too much of her."

"Y-your mom died? The day you stopped talking to me?" I was shocked.

"Yes, and today's the anniversary of her death." He revealed.

I didn't know until now that Jungkook's mom died...I remember her picking Jungkook from school in her cute mini van. I remember going to birthday parties and saw her chatting alongside the other parents. She wasn't a huge part of my past, but I admired her grace and beauty. And she was gone?

"Oh my...I'm so sorry Jungkook. I know that's not enough to say. But that's just terrible." I tried to sympathize.

        Jungkook snorts. "Don't worry. A lot of people didn't even say anything. I found out at 4 AM, when I woke up from a nightmare."
"I went to my mother's room..and she wasn't there. And then I entered the kitchen and overheard some of the staff talking about her death. I called my dad and he didn't even pick up. But I still attended school anyways, because I knew that's what she would have wanted."

     I clearly recall the day that Jungkook stopped talking to me. Now that I think about it, I wasn't the only one he shut out. Even though he was specifically cold to me, he shut out everyone.

"A few weeks later, Dad comes home. I ask him 'What happened to Mom?' And first thing he told me was 'Bitch finally left the planet, but this castle is finally a men's residence!' I asked 'So is Mom really dead?' He pinched my cheeks and said, 'It was her choice. But these struggles make you stronger. You're finally a man now.'"

It was her choice...which means Jungkook's mother took her life by suicide.
        And his father told him in the most painful way possible.

"J-Jungkook....your dad had no right. That's too cruel." I shake my head, in disbelief.

Jungkook laughed while crying, the tears collectively pouring down his face. "He didn't think so. He believed I was becoming strong. And after everything he told me, I resented my mother for leaving me. And then I began resenting you."

      "Why me?"

      "Because you're everything I ever wanted to be."

AUTHOR'S NOTE: In no way shape or form, am I claiming Jungkook's parents are actually like this. I don't know anything about his personal life but I bet his parents are AWESOME. How else could they have raised such an incredible son? This is all FICTION, for entertainment purposes. If I triggered you in any shape or form, I apologize. But the tags of this fic were clear-it's about depression and suicide. If you can't handle this, go to a therapist instead of using wattpad. Xoxo