Adopted

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"Hoseok, are you sure you want to do this?"  my mom said, uncertainty clear in her voice. I nodded, even though she was back home in Gwangju and I was in my new house in Seoul. I called her to tell her that I was thinking about adopting a child soon, and I could tell she was less than thrilled.

I just turned twenty not even a day ago, I worked at a dance school, and I was a bit of a party animal. Still, that was a year ago; I stopped partying and kept myself sober with some help from my best friend, Kim Seokjin. He worked at an adoption agency and was the one who suggested I adopted a child.

"Yes, Eomma. I want to do this. I've always wanted kids," I replied, stressing certain words. My mind kept going back to the little baby boy Jin mentioned at the beginning of January. His name was Kim Taehyung; he was born at the end of December, his mom couldn't keep him in fear that his father would try to hurt him. I cried when Jin told me about him, and I've been thinking about him ever since.

My mom sighed on the other line, and I frowned.  "Don't take this the wrong way, but I don't think you're fit to raise a child yet. You still are yourself. I don't think you can handle that big of a responsibility. Plus, you're gay, Hoseok. Our country isn't very accepting of that and you know it."

Tears of frustration burned at the corners of my eyes. Did she really have that little faith in me? "Eomma, I can do this!"  I said firmly, canceling out all the doubt I had.

On the other line, my mom finally gave in and hung up.


"Okay, so we got all the paperwork sorted out! Follow me," Jin says after two hours of going over paperwork. He leads me out of his office and into the nursery, where all the babies are sleeping peacefully. Some kick in their sleep while others' fingers and toes twitch while they dream, and my heart warms while looking at them all.

My baby boy is in between two girls, who are both fast asleep. He's awake and absentmindedly kicking his feet in the air while he tries to look around. He's dressed in cute, light-blue footies with Eeyore from Winnie the Pooh on them.

As I gaze into those beautiful brown eyes, I see his hope shining in them, as well as his curiosity. He gurgles and makes grabby hands towards me, and I turn to Jin. "Can I hold him?" I whisper, looking back towards the little boy. "Of course you can hold your baby," Jin replies, and I smile wide as I pick up the wiggling baby.

He seems to immediately calm down in my arms and he gazes up at me with those wide brown eyes. Tears form in my eyes as I stare down at him, holding him in the crook of my arm while I use my free hand to wipe away my tears.

Finally, after arguing with my parents and following through with my plan, I have a son. I have someone who will look up to me as he grows up, someone I can teach to be the best person he can be. I have someone to show how to see the good in everyone and the beauty of life. I feel like this baby boy was sent to me for a reason.

"Jin-hyung, he's so beautiful," I sob, and Jin pouts and wraps an arm around me. "Awe, Hobi. He's very beautiful. Thank you for taking him into your life." My baby reaches a tiny hand out and grabs a hold of my dogtags and shakes them, giggling when they rattle on the chain. I smile at him, but he's completely focused on my tags with a boxy smile on his face.

"Hoseok, when I told him he was going to have a new daddy, it was like a light turned on in his eyes. I didn't think he would understand, but I think he got the feeling that something good was going to happen to him. I've never seen him so excited before. It's like he knows," Jin mumbles as my baby drops the tags and reaches his hands out to me.

I bring my free hand up and he holds my fingers in his hands, giggling like a maniac when I gently move my hand from side to side. "You're his angel, Hobi. I know you'll be just fine with him, but if you need any help, please call me. You know I have the girls and a little boy. God bless Namjoon, he's probably overwhelmed." Jin and I throw ourselves into a laughing fit and my baby joins in.


At home, everything is already set up. Taehyung's room is painted a calm green, with yellow curtains at the window. A brown crib is in the center of the room, shelves of my Beanie Baby collection line one wall, the changer is by the closet door and the dresser is by the door with a lamp and record player on top of it. A stuffed lion sits in the corner of his crib to keep watch over him in the night. A brown recliner is stuffed in a corner, and a white rug covers the hardwood floors.

I'm sitting in that chair with Taehyung in my arms. He's now in red footies with teddy bears on them, and as I look at him, he reminds me of a teddy bear. "Hi, Taehyungie. My name is Jung Hoseok, but you can call me Daddy. I'm twenty years old, a dance teacher, and I like animals a lot, so if you want one, we can have as many as you like. Just please hate snakes as much as I do. Um, I have a friend named Min Yoongi. You can call him Uncle Suga, if you want. He's sweet in his own way."

Taehyung brings my finger to his mouth, suckling on it gently. "Oh, you want a pacifier? Here," I mumble as I reach over to the small table next to the chair and pick up a white pacifier. I bring it to Taehyung's lips and he happily accepts it and stares up at me with wide eyes.

"Okay, where was I? Oh! Don't ever be afraid to tell me what's on your mind. I'm always here for you, my love. I'll protect you always, so don't ever be afraid. I love you."

His eyes flutter closed, and soon he's fast asleep in my arms. I slowly stand up and kiss his forehead gently and set him down in his crib, then pull his navy blue blanket up so he doesn't get cold.

Then, I plug in his night light and decorate his ceiling with stars. "Goodnight. If you need me, just call. I love you, Taehyung," I say before going into my room.


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