The Alpha's daughter

the five stages of grief

After what felt like an eternity of howling I felt two hands on my shoulders and then the two voices of my parents joined in as the howled for there first born. I don't remember going to Carters room and I don't know why I did maybe I hoped this was a dream and that he would be on his bed watching MTV but the next moment that I do remember was waking up to the realization that he was indeed gone. I wanted to run as fast as I could but it was unsafe and with everything that had just happened I could not disobey my father and go run, I wanted to run and find every rogue and cut their air supply off with my claws for what they did to my brother. I sat in my room looking at all the old photos of us. Carter never cared that I was an annoying little sister who followed him around. He always made time for me and made sure I was taken care of. "Moon Goddess this pack needs Carter back so bring him back and I'll do whatever you want me to do." No answer. I tried.

I'm pulled out of my memories by my phone ringing and answer quickly when I see its Devon. "I just heard. Are you okay?" How on earth did he already find out? "No" I softly whisper. I hear him take a deep breath. "Do you want me to drive up to you and come be with you?" Every part of me wants to shout yes but I know that it's not safe for him in the woods right now. "I wish. It's not safe so please don't as I can't risk losing you" My heart is swirling with emotions but I know I have to be strong right now. "I think I'm just going to spend some time with my parents today." I heard him sigh before he answered. "Just know I'm one phone call away."

I grabbed my pillow and walked down to my dad's office. Everyone I passed had the same grim look on their faces and would bow their heads as a sign of respect. I knocked on my dad's office and when I opened the door I saw my father look completely broken. He asked if there was anything he could do for me and without an answer, I walked around his desk and found a spot to lie down on the ground. As a little girl of six or seven, this is always where you would find me if I was scared or hurt and somehow this felt like exactly where I wanted to be. This is where I felt okay being sad or depressed when I was little so I took some comfort in that and closed my eyes.

Dad woke me up a while later telling me that Micheal one of the pack members who also played on Carter's football team had come by and asked that I go with them for lunch to a cafe as they all loved Carter dearly. There were five werewolves on the football team and I knew for them this must have been just as hard. I thought it was quite nice that they were making an effort. I went and got changed and met them outside and they asked if I felt like taking a run to the cafe and I jumped on the idea. Placing all my clothes in my mouth I joined the group of five and we ran to the cafe letting my wolf have a little time outside. Once in town, I went to a dumpster and changed back into my clothes before joining the boys.

"It was really nice of you guys to invite me. You really didn't have to." Micheal looked at me sheepishly "technically we didn't. We are going to be sitting at that table over there against the wall but you" he places his hands on my shoulders "will be sitting at that table over there" for a moment I feel confused until I turn to look where he is gesturing. At the back of the cafe getting up to greet me as we speak is Devon and in that moment I forget everything else and run into his arms knocking him over in the process. I say I'm sorry but he just laughs it off and takes me back to his table.

"I pulled some strings," he says looking over at the group of boys at the next table. I give him a small smile. "I see that but how did you know they were the ones?" He laughs "Well I have known them since I can remember and strangely I have never been to any of there homes." That was smart thinking on his part. He slips his hand over mine and I just stare down at it. It's a small gesture but for me, it means the world. "I just needed to see you. I know nothing I say can take away the pain of losing your brother but I wanted you to know I was here." He pulls me in for another hug and I take a deep breath letting his scent invade me.

"Why do you always take a deep breath when you hug me? Do I smell bad?" I laugh at how wrong he got this one. "It's the opposite you are the best smell. Your smell alone calms me and intoxicates me and makes me want to just" I stop my self completely embarrassed at what I had just said. He laughs before taking off his jacket and placing it over my shoulders. "For the moments that I cant be there to calm you down."

Looking up at my mate now without his jacket I notice the bruising on his neck and immediately questions him about it. "My dad and I got into a fight and it got a little physical. Don't worry about it. I'm okay." he says this but the marks on his neck say otherwise and my emotions shift from focusing on the sadness of Carter to anger against the person hurting my mate.