Howl of a Human

XV

My room was warm when I stepped into it. Papa had taken me home after Mike left. I found myself throwing the bag outside the window and sneaking it into the back of his jeep while he was saying goodbye to Jack and Catherine. The Bunny was safely tucked in my jacket pocket. 

Someone obviously loved it a lot once.

I set the bag on my bed before opening another one. I went through my closet, choosing what was worth moving and what wasn't. Not many were actually put in the bag. I don't really know if it's because they weren't worth taking in reality or I just didn't want to admit to leaving. For along time I just stared at my clothes, having only packed a single sweater my grandmother had given me a while back.

That's when I remembered the bunny.

A little stump was all that was left of his ear. I felt the stump with the very tip of my finger before kneeling next to my bed and pulling out the old cookie tin that held all of my sewing supplies. I cut up an old shirt that was the same color as the rabbit and crafted a new ear for him, the inner part ended up being the wrong color- instead of the paisley fabric on the original ear it was a blue plaid. I didn't own paisley.

He was better.

I promised the little toy that I'd find a way to get him to Tyler at some point. Maybe I can even get it there before the babies are born? 

Maybe I should bring cookies as well? 

A shiver rolled down my spine as I remembered Tyler asking for cookies at the bakery before he turned into a wolf in front of me.

Does Nova like cookies? Was that even real?

Only one way to find out, I went downstairs and grabbed 2 of the bakery's bags, filling each up with cookies but leaving space in the second one to hide the rabbit in. I chose to pack peanut butter cookies and some chocolate chip cookies, hopefully the scent would mask the little rabbit stowaway.

Now I had something in my bag. 

Actually, the rabbit made me start packing more. I wanted to hide the cookies as much as possible and maybe even mask their scent by my own. Catherine said that, right? A mate's scent is more powerful than any other?

I threw in blouses and jeans, a pair of ankle boots, 3 more sets of underwear and a few dresses. I even packed some formal clothes in a second bag. My father was impressed when he came to check up on me. 

"You've packed so much. I'm glad you're accepting this so well."

"It's not like I have a choice," I replied begrudgingly as I wrapped a sweater around a picture before tucking it safely into the bag.

"This is for the best, Lacey. You'll see."

"Yeah, sure."

"It is, trust me."

He put his hand on my shoulder and I felt myself tensing up.

"Your grandparents had an arranged marriage, so did your mother and I," I bit my lip and kept looking at the wrapped photo of my mother under an oak tree with me in her arms," When Jack first suggested it I thought 'this man, he must be crazy'. Then I heard Mike talking about you and I knew, he must be right. It's for the best, my love."

A small tear trickled down my cheek. Mike was so sweet then. He was so harsh later. Why?

How am I supposed to live with that?

"You'll learn to love him. I know you like him at least a little, I saw it when you brought him to our stand at the fair. He's lighting that little fire in your soul. Now, it's your job to keep it going. Make it bigger. You'll understand love then."

"It's going to be so hard, Papa. They expect so much from me."

"You'll raise their standards, then. My girl's no quitter."

I hugged him.

My Papa with his words.

"You should keep Zoey here," I whispered to him," She likes you a lot. She can have my room."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. We can't have you having empty nest syndrome, can we?"

He laughed. I pulled back and saw that his face had a few stray drops on them as well. His thumb came up to my forehead and he brushed it.

"My beautiful girl with her big purple eyes just for me. Promise you'll never look at anyone like how you look at your papa?"

"Of course. Of course."

"I love you."

"I love you, too."

___

The trip back to the pack house was a blur. I barely even remember getting in the car, air by actually getting out and walking up to the room that was meant to be my own.

It looked duller than when I was here last, like the color had left the room. 

When was I here last? What day? What day is today? I've never been good at keeping track of the days, it only got worse after I'd graduated.

For some reason I started thinking of the wolves I'd seen in the cave. They must have come from nearby, maybe they were all part of this pack? Were they "my" pack? Is this my pack? Do I have a pack? Do I even have sanity anymore?

I started to unpack, the picture of my mother taking an honorable place on the windowsill while the one of my father and mother went to the desk. 

I got this, Mama.