Make a Joke of It All - A One Direction Love Story

Moments - Part Two

The bipolar half of Kate, I call it. Enjoy! :) lol

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I stared at the gleaming diamond held in front of me. Zayn was hopeful; the look was evident in his eyes. I was astounded. There was no way I could've predicted this was going to happen. Especially not after what happened earlier.

I mean, there he was. He was bent on one knee, staring into my eyes deeply. I felt like this was some sort of sappy movie. It seemed so surreal to be proposed to. I was eighteen for Pete's sake! Well, I was having a baby, I guess, but the pattern seemed off.

It was supposed to be love, marriage, and then a baby carriage. Not a baby carriage, love, then marriage. It wasn't right. 

I didn't know what to say. Should I say yes and make this mistake right or not? What if Zayn isn't the father? I couldn't live with myself if it turned out to be that way.

"I-I...uh..." were all I the sounds I could make.

"Well?" Another glimmer of hope shone in his eyes.

I stared into his eyes. Clearing my throat and trying to find words I said, "Zayn..."

He held my hand tightly in his and shook his head. "Kate, I know what you're going to say. Please just think about it. I know the baby may not be mine, but I want the chance to raise it like it's my own."

This last sentence sent a storm out of my eyes. I just broke down. Dropping Zayn's hands fast, I stood up and began pacing the floor. 

I know if I say yes the paparazzi will be all over this. They'll tear Zayn down and crush his reputation. They'd freak about the baby and have a field day over it. I couldn't risk ruining Zayn's spotlight with this child. Or a marriage guaranteed to be highly publicized. I just couldn't ruin all the things Zayn has worked for.

When he first joined X Factor, he was shy and underestimated his talents. He wouldn't dance and nearly ruined his chances at stardom for it. Then he met the boys, and it was instantly made better. They helped him break out of his shell and become the boy I knew deeply and loved. Now he travels the world with screaming girls crying out for him to take them as his wife. 

He enjoyed it, I know. He loved his fans and all they have given to him. Fame, fortune, and an undeniable love, much like the one we shared. He had given up a normal life for the life of a star, and I knew he didn't regret it. 

I also know he didn't regret me, and it is pretty blatant with the whole engagement ring thing. Even though he has covered up our secret love affair with one another by using the excuse as me being a roadie, he still found time to share all of his undeniable love. The Undying Love, he had called it. The love that never fails. 

Until now.

I turned to him, knowing my next move would be one I may come to regret, but I knew it had to be done. I couldn't do this anymore.

"Zayn, I can't." 

"What?" 

"I can't marry you." I choked. It was killing me as much as it killed him.

"What?" He stood up, dumbfounded at the words I was speaking. "Why? Bu-but I thought you loved me?"

I decided now would be the time to lie again. I turned away to hide my tears."No, I don't want to talk about it. Please just know I can't." Thank God it was dark in here. I couldn't take the looks I knew Zayn held.

We stood in silence for a moment. I think he was processing the heartbreak I had just delivered to him. He finally spoke, obviously a newly-broken man. "Kate. Please, no."