Make a Joke of It All - A One Direction Love Story

Beautiful Liar

"Tell me how to forgive you when it's me who's so ashamed."

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I left Harry at around one in the morning feeling guiltier than I ever have in my whole life. I knew spending part of my night with a boy who I didn't call my boyfriend was wrong, espicially when he was a bandmate of my boyfriend. I had to get out of there as soon as it was over. It wasn't the first time I'd ever spent some time like that with anyone. I'd been to Harry's multiple times.

I shouldn't have given into temptations. I should've said no. The least I could do was break up with Zayn and then maybe it would be better. Zayn would never forgive me for this. I had to tell him. I had to let him know about the deed I had just done, the worst deed I could've done.

I started across the street from Harry's apartment to Zayn's. I knew he'd be home at this time. He was probably worrying about me right now. I gently unlocked his door with the key he gave me and stepped in. The place was dark with only the light from the TV showing. Zayn was stretched out on the couch. He looked so innocent when I felt like a whore. He'd never done me really wrong, but I had just been unfaithful to him. He kissed a girl once, and I was mad then, but he begged for my forgiveness. It's crazy how the times have changed. Life was so unfair sometimes to the people who didn't deserve it.

"Zayn," I whispered softly, feeling my eyes grow wet. He instantly rose from the couch and wrapped his arms around me. I stood there, biting my tongue and holding back tears. My arms stayed firm at my sides as he pulled away softly and looked into my eyes.

"I thought something happened to you," he whispered gently. "Louis, Niall, and I looked everywhere for you."

"What about Harry?" I found myself asking, even though I knew the answer.

"He left long before you went missing. Said he wanted to be alone." Alone with me, I thought.

He smiled. "At least you're okay." I smiled painfullly back at him. My eyes began to drip, so I turned away so he couldn't see. He reached out for me, but I pulled away.

"I'm fine," I told him, walking into the kitchen and setting my bag on the island. I dug through my purse to try and find a tissue. Even so early in the morning, I didn't want my mascara to run. Zayn had follwed me, but I tried my best to ignore him.

"What's wrong, Kate?" he asked.

"Nothing, okay?" I shot. He stepped closer. I dabbed my eyes with the edge of a folded napkin I had found in my purse. He wrapped his hands on my hips with care and pulled me into him. I let him.

"You should get some rest. Come one." He pulled me back into his bedroom. We passed Niall's closed door, and I felt even more guilty. Zayn's room was pale even in the darkness and had dark bedding and furniture. He sat me down on the edge of his bed while he open the second drawer on the dresser. I fumbled with my fingers. I knew I had pajamas in my suitcase out in the livingroom.

"Here." He threw a large t-shirt at me and some boxer shorts. I held closely to the clothes, just staring at the invisible floor. Zayn sat down next to me and put his arms around me. I looked up at him with soaken puppy eyes.

He smiled. "You sure everything's okay?" I nodded. He dropped his arms and stood up. "I guess we both should get some sleep."

I stood up and dropped the clothes on the floor. Zayn had just turned off his light and lit up the room slightly with his cracked door. I walked over and closed the door suddenly. He looked up at me, his face shining only in the moon light with confusion.

I grabbed his face with both my hands and pulled his body into mine through my kiss. His hands found my waist instantly. His touch was warm on my cold skin. I pulled him over to the bed and sat down, lips still locked. I inched backwords on the bed, pulling him forward towards me.