How To Be The Best Third Wheel

Original Edition - Tip 35: Don't tag along on dates, Actually go on one!

Do you guys have any awkward date experiences? Or...are you all just single and awkward and just locked up in your dark rooms like me?

"Look at you. You're beautiful, smart, and talented. I love you."

I frown as the words come out of my mouth. Clearly, my mirror pep talk to myself isn't working.

"Lies!" a voice shouts and I turn to see Bree with her head popping into my room. She laughs as she says, "Since you're obviously busy preparing for your little date with lover boy, I'm going to assume that you don't have time to eat your Doritos, right?" She winks and gives a sinister smile that you'd only know if you had your own sister of terror.

"Don't you dare touch my freaking Doritos, Bree. I swear I'll kill you." I threaten, but she just continues to smirk evilly and runs downstairs.

I give up on trying to validate my very existence in front of the mirror, and proceed to chase her down the stairs. "Bree! Come back! I'll kill you!" I scream.

As I get to the bottom of the stairs, almost tripping on my own two feet (like usual), I see her holding the bag of chips and sprinting through the front door. "Sayonara sucker!" I hear her yell from outside.

Damn it. My Doritos are gone.

I would totally chase her outside, but frankly, I'm not planning to expose myself with my Spiderman pajama shorts on, and my haggard face. Judging by my hair and unshaved legs, someone might mistake me for Chewbacca, and I'm not up for humiliation today. Well, at least not before my date.

Date. Ah, the word I thought I'd never say along with the phrase, "I'm going on...".

It's currently morning, around 8 a.m. to be exact. So why am up, busy panicking about the date, when it isn't 'till lunch? Honestly, I'm not sure.

My mom is at work, while my dad is out, running errands. Illa is still fast asleep, and Brook is early at the gym. It's weird that Bree isn't with her. Ever since her favorite character on her favorite T.V. show died, she's been going through an emotional trauma, resulting in her going on a junk food spree and taking my food.

I sigh.

I miss my Doritos already.

I try to place my thoughts on him, the idiot that I somehow fell in love with. I could spend all day thinking about his dreamy eyes, beautiful smile, intoxicating laugh, the way he intertwines his fingers with mine, the feeling I get I'm anywhere near him, but I can't. I really can't.

I'm just too emotionally traumatized right now.

What else am I going to eat today? The apples in the fridge? The greek yogurt with no taste? I piece of lettuce? My own sister robbed me of my very last hope of true happiness.

R.I.P. Doritos, R.I.P.

I trudge back upstairs, too disgusted with her actions, to even go to the kitchen and remember what was. As I get to my bedroom, I unplug my cellphone. Almost instantly, it starts to ring and my dad's picture pops up. I touch the green button to answer it, and place the phone against my ear.

"Hello?"

"Ara! Pakisabi nga sa lola mo, na may pangulam pa sa fridge. Hindi ako makaka ui kase matagal pa kame dito." (Ara! Tell your grandma that there are leftovers in the fridge. I can't go home because we're still going to be awhile here.) my dad yells on the other line, that I have to pull my phone away from my ear.

My parents have the tendency to yell on the phone, as if there was bad connection or it was on speaker phone.

"What are you even doing dad? Where are you?"