How To Be The Best Third Wheel

Original Edition - Tip 20: Keep the Couple Together

"You. Ryder. Lips. Touching." I say slowly like a robot. Also like a robot, the computer thing called a brain inside me is trying to interpret the situation. Me no comprehend.

Mark was right. What he saw wasn't just an illusion. She did kiss him. Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my fish. I mean, gosh. On a positive note, at least we know that Mark isn't taking any mind altering drugs. *Thumbs up* Yeah...I'm not making this better.

"Yes Lara. We kissed. But before you beat me up-" she starts but I interrupt her.

"MARK I WILL AVENGE YOU!" I shout before grabbing one of Carol's pillows and smacking her with it. Multiple times.

"Woman! Let me explain!" she exclaims in the midst of my attack.

"You have 30 seconds before I unleash full attack mode and upgrade my weapons to two pillows." I threaten, dropping the pillow onto the floor and glaring at her. And here I thought that the guys would be the ones that I'd be attacking.

"We 'kissed', but I didn't kiss him back I swear! He's the one who kissed me and I pushed him away! You've got to believe me!" she explains, gripping my shoulders. There is so much intensity in her eyes, enough that I can tell that she's telling the truth. What a relief.

But...I feel like Mark deserves this monologue, not me. I mean, in all of my favourite books, the partner is the one begging the other partner to understand. Not begging the best friend to.

This is just concrete proof that third wheels are the glue in a relationship. Without me-I mean third wheels, a relationship would not be complete. I have as much of a part in this relationship as the two idiots-I mean friends!

Subconscious: Haha! Sure you do...

Me: Shut up! Stupid subconscious...

I look at Carol and smile. Thank God this was only a misunderstanding. I knew that my bestie could never cheat on Mark! I never doubted her for a second.

Subconscious: You literally just attacked her-

Me: I said shut up!

I pretend to wipe a bead of sweat off of my forehead and let out a satisfying breath, "I believe you. I'm so glad that I'm not best friends with a cheater. When did it happen?"

"Today. This morning. I went for a jog and ran into him. Let's just say it didn't go too well." she explains, cringing. "He wanted to get back together with me. I told him I was with Mark but he went in and kissed me."

"I'm going to kill that ex-cheater of yours." I close my eyes and breathe to relieve my anger. It didn't happen to me, but it happened to my friend. I already talked to him after he cheated on her. I am so going to push him 6 feet under.

Her and Ryder dated for about a year during freshman year. I really did not like him since the beginning. He was like the definition of "badboy". Not those badboys in books who secretly have a soft spot. No, he was just bad. He did illegal things, got arrested several times and broke hearts.

One those hearts was hers.

And to think, all the "Ryder"s I've read about were swoon-worthy. Tsk. Tsk. This Ryder was super rude and super...ugh. He still is. He already got suspended and it's literally the first week of school!

She smiles at me. "Good thing you believe me. I just don't know how I'm going to tell Mark about this. It's not like I can just keep this from him. I have to tell him, but how?"

I bite my bottom lip, "Well, the good news is you don't have to break the news to him." I laugh nervously.

She looks at me in confusion. "What do you mean?"