Tom - cheating?

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*****TRIGGER WARNING******
This fanfic includes self harm (cutting), swearing and cheating. Don't read it if you know you can't handle it!

You couldn't believe it.
It couldn't be true.
You close your eyes for a few seconds but as you open them again, the image is still the same. Tom and Taylor.
On the front page of every magazine.
Kissing.
You had just gone down to a local shop to get some chocolate for your usual weekend movie nights with your boyfriend Tom, but your eyes had been met by the most horrifying picture.
You take a magazine and as you read, tears start to run down your cheeks.
"Tom Hiddleston, the famous British actor was seen kissing his ex, Taylor Swift outside her house. As many people know, Tom is already in a relationship. He is said to be a true gentleman but this picture truly proves otherwise. His girlfriend y/n.."

You stop reading as you throw the magazine and run out the store. You don't want anyone to see you cry. Pulling out your phone you turn it off and pull your hood over your head. You don't want people to see you cry, and you don't want to talk to Tom either. You can't believe he actually did that. And the date on the magazine.. its from last night. The night he made love to you. Where he swore his love over and over again. Where he had held you so close in his sleep.
The tears starts to fall faster and you take off in a run into a park, in between the trees and fall. You groan and get up. Your old apartment. You have to go there.
You're always there when Tom is away for work or when you need some time to yourself. Now is one of those times. You're panting heavily as you reach the door and unlock it, locking it again as soon as you're inside. You keep the lights out in case he starts looking for you.
Oh who are you kidding, he don't care.
You take off your jacket and go to the bathroom, opening up your drawer to see lots of old friends. Cigarettes, drugs, razors, alcohol bottles, pills, needles.. all the stuff you once were addicted to. You used to be a pretty big fuck up until you ended up with Tom a few years ago.
You roll up your sleeve and look at your arm. The scars are barely visible anymore.. you bite your lip and go over to the tub, slowly filling it with water as you take your sharpest razor, and sink into the ice cold water. Your body is shaking with cold but it's slowly going numb because of that too, which means..
One.
Two.
Three.
You keep counting every time the razor strokes your skin. One arm gets covered and you go to the other.
Most people would call you stupid, tell you a guy isn't worth it, that it's too much, but they would be wrong. Tom was the one. You loved him more than yourself. You still do. You'd die for him, you told him that the day he confessed. Now it is time to prove it.
You start to get dizzy as the water slowly turns red around you, soaking your white hoodie and leaving a red stain. You sigh as you slowly sink down even further, letting the cold surround you. Letting it embrace your burning body and cool it down.
You don't even react when you hear the front door being unlocked. When a familiar voice calls out your name. When you feel warm hands hold your cold ones. The sound of a man crying. Tears falling down in the red water.
You are long gone, or well, so you thought.
Suddenly, you are pulled up the water and reality hits you like a punch in the face. Your freezing body, your burning arms, your aching heart, everything feels so heavy. You fade in and out of consciousness, getting small glimpses of a man. He's so beautiful. Like a dream, but his face is torn up by pain and regret. His face stays in your head as your eyes close once again and your body goes weak in his embrace.

~time skip on 3 hours~

When your eyes open again you are staring into a white ceiling. Your first thought is the hospital but you're wrong. It doesn't feel like a hospital bed and it doesn't smell like one either. It's..
Thomas.
You're in his bed. Was it all a dream? You slowly sit up and look at your arms, surprised to see that they're bandaged and as you lift the bandage slightly, you can see the wounds have been cleaned. You carefully get out of the bed, trying to stay quiet as you go to Toms full size mirror and look at yourself. Bandaged arms, Toms shirt, sweatpants, your h/l h/c is dry and freshly brushed, your e/c are still a little red from the crying and your skin is pale because of the blood loose.
Just like in the old days.
You smile slightly but the smile vanishes as you remember the face you saw. The beautiful man. Tom. He seemed so hurt, like he was slowly being torn apart by seeing you like that. You shake your head and in that moment the door opens and you are staring into Toms bright blue eyes. They are red. He must've cried.
"Y/n.."
His voice is hoarse and barely a whisper.
"Explain. Why did you.. why did you kiss her?"
You ask him and he looks confused, almost as if he doesn't know.
"Don't play stupid with me! Taylor fucking Swift, you kissed her last night! When you swore you were mine, when you promised me you only loved me! When you-"
You're cut off as you're suddenly in his embrace, his body is so warm but he's trembling like crazy.
"I'm sorry. God I'm so sorry y/n. I didn't mean to, I promise, I met her by accident and I was gonna kiss her cheek as a goodbye but she kissed my lips instead and.."
he trails off and slide down to his knees, looking up at you with desperate eyes.
"I'm sorry y/n. What I have done is truly horrible. Please, show me mercy, forgive me, I beg you."
Your heart beats faster as you go down on your knees and stroke his cheek. Taylor took advantage of him.. you would deal with that later. For now, you had to make Tom feel better, make both of you feel better.
"Thomas.. I won't say it's okay, because it's clear it isn't, but we can figure this out, we'll get through it, together."
You smile softly and he returns it and carefully takes your hand and take your bandages off. You look down in shame. The scars look horrible.. you blush lightly as he starts kissing them and he doesn't stop before he have kissed every single one of them.
"Please forgive me, and promise to never hurt yourself like this again, please darling."
"I promise."
He smiles and hugs you carefully before helping you to your feet. He carries you to bed and lays you down before joining you.
"I love you y/n. I love you so much and tomorrow I'm gonna fix all this. I'll get you to the doctor, talk to the press and cut all contact with Taylor. I promise."
"I love you."
You whisper as small tears of joy runs down your cheeks, and a small blush appears on your cheeks when Tom kisses them away. He isn't perfect, he made a small mistake but he still loves you, that's clear. He did all this for you, he kept you safe and warm.. he cares. What did you do to deserve this man?
"I love you Thomas."
"I love you too y/n. Now please, sleep, you need rest."
You nod and lay your head on his chest as you slowly fall asleep to the sound of his heartbeat.

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