Daydream Dating

Chapter 18 - Bathrooms

It took every ounce of willpower I had not to respond to Dylan's verbal poking. He just wanted a reaction, and I was determined to disappoint him.

"First, you go all jealous over me and Mia, then you cheat on your popular boyfriend? There's a name for that, Sally." He paused as if he was waiting to drop the punch line. But I couldn't let it get that far.

"Enough," I said calmly. "Once again, your source must be a complete wacko to think that I cheated on anyone. Now, get out of my way and leave me alone. It's not cool to harass girls in the hallway."

My tone was firm, my words precise. I presented a person who held herself together in the face of adversity. The problem was, I was none of those things. His words struck me deeply, even though there was no merit to any of them. If rumors were swirling about how TJ was cheated on by some invisible girl, what could that mean for the invisible girl? Me?

I turned my head away from Mr. Sally, not wanting to see the inevitable smirk on his face. What was it with guys and a smirky face? All of the douchey boys had one. Even some of the good ones made that face once in a while. Not my favorite look. I knew it was supposed to be sexy or intriguing. But I just thought it made them look like a bigger jerk than they already were. Why would that be attractive?

Dylan didn't say another word, but I could feel him watching me as I walked away. My heart was pounding from the encounter, not something I needed in my state of mind. Somehow I made it to my Spanish class without crying, or hyperventilating. I didn't even trip or bump into anyone, and I was pretty sure that should have happened, because although my eyes were opened, I really didn't see anything in front of me.

I sat down in my usual seat, not noticing who was or wasn't in class with me. The teacher began teaching...something. But my mind wasn't in class or on Spanish subjunctive tense. Sadly, my brain kept turning over the words that Dylan had successfully planted deep inside. People thought I was a cheater. Somebody was saying that I was the kind of girl that would be so cold and hateful as to sneak around behind my boyfriend's back with another guy. Honestly, what had I ever done to anyone to deserve that kind of rumor?

Suddenly the bell rang and I practically jumped out of my seat in shock. I hadn't paid attention for the entire period! How had fifty minutes gone by? Once again I didn't look up, I just grabbed my things and bolted out the door, somewhat dazed by both the bell and my predicament. Before I knew it, I was in the hallway. The hallway, our hallway. I stood still, looking at the spot TJ had always stood to wait for me and I realized something in that moment.

I couldn't do it.

There was no way I would be able to walk into that classroom and sit near him for almost an hour. I knew it had to happen eventually, but I just didn't have it in me yet. I turned the opposite direction and headed for the bathroom, thinking I would just hide in a stall for the next hour and then suffer through the rest of the day. My parents would probably get a phone call, telling them I wasn't in third period. That would bring questions I wasn't prepared to answer. But in that moment, none of that mattered. I just needed to get away and calm down.

My feet shuffled the rest of me into the girls bathroom, a sanctuary for high school melt downs, and tried to hold it together long enough for the bell to ring and the rest of the girls to filter out. Then I could loose it and cry. I took deep breaths to try to keep the tears at bay, only slightly accomplishing my goal. My eyes weren't tearing up, by my breathing was so unsteady it sounded like I was already sobbing. Oh well, so much for the tough facade.