His Children

The Pink Devil

Unfortunately, the gang and I have D.A.D.A today. Time to begin learning from the newest applicant for the accursed teaching position, let's hope we learn something this year. Kaid and I shuffled into the room, Harry, Ron, and Hermione right behind us. We took seats in the middle of the room cause then we had less of a chance of having our eyes flooded with the dreaded pastel pink Umbridge wore on a daily basis.

When all were seated, the pink menace began her second introduction. "Ordinary Wizarding Levels, OWL's." I didn't really give two shits about whatever else she was saying. Too busy, mourning over the paper bird the woman from hell had burnt. I regained my focus when she passed out a horribly thin textbook.

Umbridge tried to explain to us that a theoretical education would be best. I called bullshit," so you're telling me that I don't have to practice magic in this class in order to not drop dead like my good friend, Mr. Diggory?"

The woman glared at me with a disgustingly sweet smile," what happened to that boy was a tragedy that nobody saw coming."

"Yeah whatever, as if The Dark Dumbass didn't say 'kill the spare' and my brother, Harry, and I didn't see the boy's ghost. I feel so theoretical right now, Professor." Before I could continue my rant though, she gave us three surviving champions detention. 

When we arrived in the horrifyingly pink office, I could only cringe at the poor cats in the paintings. To save them some time, I let out a very real sounding growl that scared every single one out of their paintings. The boys and I took our seats and began to write. I noticed the curse on Harry's quill and reversed the one on ours before the words could start sinking in.

I repeatedly wrote 'I'm a dumb bitch' on my parchment and waited for the cries of agony to ensue and gladly took my punishment afterwords. When we had arrived at the Headmaster's office, Umbridge was covered from head to toe in obscenities. McGonagall looked like she was holding in a smile the size of Big Ben, and who could blame her.

"I demand that these three students be expelled immediately!" Umbridge howled, her hands at her sides.

"If we were to be expelled than you'd have to be fired too," Kaiden said.

"Oh really? And why is that, Mr. Brookwell?" Dumbledore seemed very intrigued.

"Well, let's take a page out of the Muggle Bible, shall we? I believe the saying goes that 'all men were created equal', meaning if we were to be punished for hurting a teacher than you have to be fired for hurting a student. Harry, your hand," I grabbed his wrist and blatantly showed the adults the painful writing etched into the Golden Boy's hand. 

"How did this happen?" McGonagall lost all traces of amusement.

"Upon entering detention with Prof. Umbridge, we were asked to sit down and write lines. We were given hexed quills that write whatever the user writes on their body. Before the painful experience could begin, however, Kaiden and I inversed the spell on the quills causing Umbridge to feel the wrath of our writing."

Great, now I'm gonna be hearing about this from Pops. That's never good...

"...You wrote such horrible things!" There, I saved you readers some time. You're welcome. Anyway, Dad seems to be finished with us for the time being. Until he said this," I'm almost proud."

Man, this family would get an A+ on parenting/controlling your kids.