. d r a f t . n i n e t e e n .

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running
from my heart,
was all i felt like doing.
it was an anchor, weighing me
down.

i wanted to breath,
not drown.

i wanted to scream,
not frown.

i wanted to speak,
not sit down.

but here i was,
sickeningly still,
wanting to throw up all the food, intestines and whatever else that would relieve me,
of this.

anything but this.

i don't trust myself.

i need someone to hold me,
but nobody does,
nobody comes.

i can feel their eyes on me,
pityingly,
it angers me,
i want to

e     X        p     L        o      D     e    .

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