"So, I hear that you have made your relationship with public, and you even stay with Ming every night" Beam was looking at my curiously sitting across me as he asked this casually. We were in a coffee shop at the mall; it has been more than week since my last conversation with Beam in our class room. He had gone home this whole time and had texted that we need to meet as he came back today.
"What" I choked, spitting out the hot coffee I just sipped, I was not expecting him to directly ask me this first. I could feel myself getting flustered but I regained myself, he was patiently waiting for my answer with the most serious face I have ever seen on him. "Yes, we have made it public" I answered "I finally understood that irrespective of whether or not he will or can break my heart, most important thing is that I love him and he loves me." He just took a sip of his coffee silently as if waiting for me to continue, "That's all that matters. Isn't it?" I asked him.
He simply nodded, "Okay, that's the first part. What about the second?" he prompted me to reply. I am not going to discuss my sex life or the lack of it at the moment with him... when am unsure of what is going on in his head. "Well...." he was still waiting, I decided to be honest, it is Beam after all. "Yes, I am staying with him or he is with me.".... Look on Beam's face was unreadable, I was not sure if it was pain or relief I see in his eyes "But it is not what you think" I said. Is it hot in here, I can feel myself sweating.. I don't have to be this uncomfortable talking about this to Beam.
"What am I thinking" he asked, now he is annoying me "What the Fuck beam, you spurt out some nonsense, disappear for almost 10 days, and now you start interrogating me as soon as you are back" I barked back, he just smiled a little "Now, there's Kit... I was wondering how much you could change.... But you are still not answering" I sighed, I had accepted to meet him knowing I wil have to end this confusion today "Well, we only sleep...." he seemed to be more relaxed now and still smiling "Really", what the hell I thought to myself – "I am still not ready to take our relationship to next level".
"Does he not pressure you then" asked Beam "He does not... but wait, why should I answer you when you won't" I stopped "I have said enough, now please ... let me know what is going on with you... I never meant to hurt you.... you know that don't you?" I said softly, this guilt has been torturing me and I yelling at him added some more now. He sighed "I know Kit, and am sorry for my behaviour" he apologised. I really wasn't sure why he is apologising – I have never been this clueless until recently.
He continued "your confession that day in the beach threw me off track, I felt really guilty because all that had happened because of me"... "Beam, that's nonsense" I said, "Let me finish – I may never be able to talk about it" he said, so I stopped "I really wanted to protect you more ever since, well I have always been possessive about you and Pha, but this confused me and I hated being unsure about you or with you". He sighed "so for a while I honestly thought I liked you .... and that day at pub, when I saw Ming forcing you - I lost it completely"
I waited for him to finish, he wouldn't look me in the eyes anymore, but then it occurred to me what he was telling out loud "You thought you liked me" I repeated his words... now more relieved that ever "So you don't like me???!!!!" I asked, "Well Kit, you might me cute – but not cute enough for me" he smiled "I just needed sometime away from you to know my true feelings – I will always be possessive and protective of you – but that's cause I love you as a friend / brother but nothing more". Wow, just wow ... I was so happy to know that I was not hurting my friend... he was really okay. I was thanking all gods inside – I would not have been able to face him if it was otherwise... "So, I am not cute enough huh?" I teased him, glad to be doing so
"Well, that's true – I don't know What Ming sees in you – you are this short, grumpy old guy" he says, but then his face took a serious hint "Are you happy, Kit?" he asked "Very much so" I replied "Then its all good" he said "Now let's go meet Pha, I owe him an apology too for my behaviour". We payed our bill and was driving back to our campus, when I suddenly remembered his bruises "Hey – you were hurt that day, what had happened" I asked "Now, that I think – Forth was searching for you as much as we were the other day". He was silent for a minute "Well, nothing ... "but his expression said otherwise "Beam..." I said, "Well – Forth and I kinda fought. That's all". "What, you guys fought??!!!" I yelled shocked "Don't worry – I started it, and don't make it a big deal – I am over it now" he said with a small smile. I just kept quite not wanting to annoy him again, but making a note to pass it on to Pha , sometime in future I will have to make sure we get out revenge.
Day was a blur – but a happy blur for a change after a long time, and I was content to have both my best friend and boy friend back. Ming and I were in my room, we were done for the day and as usual Ming was lying on my bed, with is left hand stretched out for me to take my place. His arms have become my pillow for past couple of days and I no longer felt shy to take my place next to him.
"I think there is something wrong with Beam's eyes, you are very.... very... cute" Ming teased me "Well, do you want me to choose Beam over you, is that what you are trying to do" I teased back "Shit , no.... and be sure I am a possessive, so don't get any ideas" he now threatened , I just laughed and gave him a kiss "I am too, and you better remember that".
He hugged me tight, "I am gad, you are" he said,I sighed "what is it?" he asked worried"I thought of our future" I replied "how long are you willing to wait? ", he didn't seem to understand my question at first, but then it dawned on him "As long as it takes" he said seriously "well, I got you in my arms now – and am sure it won't be long" he winked "I am your medicine .. don't you know that by now" he smirked, that bossy confidence again – I pretended to ignore him, while I know it was true "It is not going to be that easy, Ming" I said softly "As long as it takes" he replied back and kissed me.
All was well in my world for now, and I kissed back happily.
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A /N: I know a long chapter.... i have been dragging my feet not wanting to finish this story.. so may be there will be a part two, not sure.
Thanks for all your love and support folks.
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CZYTASZ
Agony
Fanfiction[Completed - Unedited] Story goes from Kit's POV on his struggle to accept Ming's love. The horror of his past which he had kept hidden from his best of friends seems to frighten his beautiful future. Having to choose over someone whom he has know...
