bbs- banana banana shot? (booty booty squad?)

a fun family au i dont kn

ow

idk how to continue this at all but??? I had fun writing it and editing it so i thought id share. also self promo lmao if u like ohmtoonz I got a book for that,,,,, its a high school au, everyone's favorite :^) also while im here thanks for the 40 ish thousand reads??? Thats crazy y'all,,,,, i started writing these to ignore my world history homework and now im kinda addicted tbh. Writing is a fun process.

So yeah. This was suppsoed to turn into h2ocat, didnt get that far. Single Dadlirious with angsty teenage Evan, asshole twins Craig n Brian n baby Bryce.

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"Bryce McQuaid, you get off that damn table right now!" Jonathan screeches out at his youngest who, somehow, has gotten up on the dining table despite all the chairs being gone.

Bryce, at the age of three, is a very interesting child. His hobbies include running wildly about the house (sometimes fully dressed, sometimes not), dressing up as his favorite characters (Batman, Nightwing and Link), and copying every last thing his older brothers do.

Craig and Brian, the middle children, are probably going to kill Jonathan one of these days. They were twins. Two troublesome boys who have quite the vocabulary for a couple of twelve year olds. Every stupid idea they had, Bryce would try to do. Sliding down the stairs? Swinging off of tree branches? Climbing on top of the refrigerator? They've done it all.

And then you have Evan, the oldest. He's almost fifteen years old and probably has about fifteen mood swings a day, too. Jonathan's not sure what's going on in that head of his, but he hopes his eldest is doing okay.

The thing about being a single parent is that time management skills are crucial to surviving everyday life. His mornings start at six-thirty every single day- he rolls out of bed (and, on some nights, rolls over Bryce too) to get breakfast going. If there's anything he's learned about time, it's that there's never enough of it.

Bryce wakes up at seven o'clock, no earlier and no later. Jonathan's not sure how he does it, because the kid can't even read. It's like he has some natural clock within him or something. Maybe his son is a robot? Jonathan doesn't know.

It takes, on average, fifteen and a half minutes for Bryce to get bored of everyone else being asleep. And since Jonathan needs the others up to get ready for school...

Bryce wakes them up, since the others know they can't sass Bryce the way they'll sass Jonathan. He's a baby still, he won't understand half the stuff they say. Brian and Craig running down the hallway to the kitchen is usually what lets Jon know they're awake.

"Daddy!" Bryce calls out to Jonathan, spoon gripped tightly in a tiny hand as be waves it around. "I want cereal, not oatmeal! And- And I want it with sprinkles! And chocolate! Chocolate chocolate chocolate!"

Brian makes a disgusted face. "Ew. What kind of nasty shit-"

"Language, Brian!" Jonathan scolds him almost immediately.

"What kind of gross shit is that?" Brian repeats, without any corrections at all. Jon sighs and resists the urge to smack his son with the spoon in his hand. He watches as Brian gives Bryce a judgemental look and steals some of Craig's bacon.

"Hey! That's stealing!" Bryce calls his brother out rather loudly. That's alright, because the louder they are, the easier it is to get Evan out of bed. He gets to sleep a little later than the others because he's moody and Jonathan is no good without some kind of coffee.

(Trust me. Jonathan's got this "dad" thing down. He might not be best dad ever, but his kids are alive and happy and that's all that matters. The bills are paid, they've got food and clothes, everything's just fine.)