"Delirious, why do you suck so bad at being sneaky?"
"Because, mister owl man, I am Delirious! And I have come to fuck your bitch!"
Vanoss gasped loudly, stunned by the truth of the statement. He placed a hand over his heart and frowned nervously at Delirious.
"But Delirious," he whispered, "I am your bitch."
Delirious grinned and began to walk towards Vanoss seductively. He tackled Vanoss onto the bed and pinned him down. "I know," he said, a lustful grin on his face. "I said I'm here to fuck your bitch though."
Vanoss stared up at Delirious nervously, blushing madly. "W- what? I don't have a bitch! If anything," he choked out, now realizing many many things, "you're my bitch!"
Delirious grinned, halfway out of his pants. "I know. You told me to go fuck myself, Vanoss, didn't you?"
Before Vanoss could think to question Delirious' logic, Delirious pulled off his underwear revealing the one thing Vanoss had never thought he'd see.
Delirious was wearing a second pair of underwear underneath. Teddy bear underwear, to be exact.
Vanoss began to move away slowly, inching off the bed as smoothly as possible. "Why do you have a second pair of underwear underneath that?" He tried to sound as calm as possible, for it was no secret that Delirious could smell fear.
Sadly, the only response is aggressive sniffing. Delirious finally looked at Vanoss with a menacing grin.
"Because," he whispered, pulling out a knife. "Because I can see dead people. And they won't get me if I wear my teddy underwear."
Vanoss had to duck down to avoid the knife that came flying at him. A small gasp of pain comes from above him, and then a grey bunny ear falls into his lap.
"Delirious! You cut Ohm's ear off!" Vanoss gasped out, kicking the ear away from him in a panic.
He cackled in response. "Silly owl! Dying is for pigs! Ohm is already dead! Why do you think he can't touch me?"
A hand grabbed onto Vanoss, making him jump. He turned around to face Ohm, who lays on the ground with a missing ear and lots of blood.
"Dammit," he croaks. "I would've had it too, if it wasn't for your meddling underwear."
And with that, Ohm dies on the floor of Mini Ladd's bedroom.
-
thank you for reading also thanks for the 169 followers i have waited very long for this day as i missed the original 69
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bbs- banana banana shot? (booty booty squad?)
Fanfictionwelcome!!!!! read at your own discretion please. am not responsible for emotions or getting ur phone taken away in class. i am also aware that my titles are absolute shite. thank you to the guy who keeps telling me this.
