Tarzan and James

Sweet dreams and bitter realities

*Tarzan*

Before I have time to even think he hugs me. It's James.... ITS JAMES!!!!  I hug him back and lift him up. He wraps his arms around me and squeezes then winces.

"What's wrong?" I say quickly.

"Nothing I'm just sore." I look him up and down to make sure he's in one piece.

"These scratches. You're bleeding. What happened?" I say as I gently put my hand on his stomach.

"Uhh I slid down a tree." He says with a little chuckle. His poor skin. It's all torn up. I pull him in and kiss him. For a while.

"Where were you 2 nights ago? I came here to look for you and okja was here but you weren't." He grabs my hand and leads me into the house.

"I was sick of you always being the one saving me so I decided I would head back and save you. Only problem was I wasn't strong enough to paddle my way back to you and there wasn't any wind so I spent the night on the water."

"How long were you there for?"

"That whole day. I kept trying to get back to your island."

"I spent that whole day here looking for you!"

"Where were you yesterday?"

"I went back to my island to look for you thinking that you didn't make it here."

"I was here trying to make oars to get to your island!"

"Did you never hear me calling for you?"

"I heard some one but I couldn't tell what they were saying and it didn't sound like you. You still don't sound like you. You must have been yelling a lot."

"Almost 2 days straight." He pulls me in and we lay down next to each other.

"I'm sorry I got you into all of this." I say my voice still strained.

"What are you talking about? I don't even remember how I got to your island in the first place and you've spent every waking moment protecting me."

"Well leaving you in the first place and not sending you away earlier. You wouldn't have been caught up in this and you would be safe. You wanted to go back but I wanted to keep you with me because I hoped it was you. I could have gotten you home that day. But I chose to keep you here because I was selfish. "

"What are you talking about? You've never been selfish. You would protect me from the bully's, always fed me, always made sure I had a nice place to sleep and you would never leave me while I slept."

"You know I would talk to you while you slept?"

"Really?"

"Yeah I would tell you about all sorts of stuff. Like I told you how I always wanted a cat but I knew you were allergic and that id way rather cuddle with you than have a cat. I would tell you about us living in a tree house together. It's kind of funny looking back."

"What else did you say?"

"I would say the most prominent thing was that I loved you and that I was sad that I was going to have to leave you." 

"Awwww. Ouch. How come you never told me?"

"How could I? You were too young to understand and you would have done something dumb. " he's right. I was way too immature and I probably would have gotten him in more trouble.

"Why couldn't I go with you?"

"You were a perfectly normal boy. I couldn't take you away from the life you deserved just to risk your life to be with me because I loved you"

"I spent so long sitting in my room refusing to eat until you came back. I didn't go to school for months. I never got over you. I never made other friends. I tried dating others but I couldn't hold hands with them with out being uncomfortable. I never gave up on the hope that I'd see you again. Tell me what part of that was normal."

"I'm sorry I hoped you would slowly forget about me."

"I loved you too much. I didn't even think that the word was adequate. I could never forget you. Tell me what part of that is normal?"

"I'm sorry." I do feel really guilty. We got too attached for us to just leave each other. But I don't know that it could have been changed. It sucks.

"What did you mean by you could have gotten me home? You said there was no way to leave."

There have been a few others here that I've sent off. There is another big island just a little bit north. I sent other people there. I could have sent you."

"So why don't we go?"

"They know me. I'm on the top of everybody's bounty list."

"Let's change your name. We can change your appearance. Let's cover up your scars." Would that really work? Would I be able to get back into America? Maybe see some of my old things? Revisit things I've missed all these years?

"There's no way."

"Scott what have we got to lose? They will catch you here. At least you have a chance this way."

"If they catch you..." I can't bear to think what they would do. "We would have to split up."

"No. We're never splitting up again. I've found you again and living with out you isn't living. I would know." He has never actually said no to me. He's so brave now. I don't even know how to respond.

"Are you ready for this then?" He looks at me and gives me a blank face.

"Do I have any uncertainty on my face?" He doesn't. Going back to people. I'm not scared about being found there. I'm worried about being around other people. I haven't worn clothes, shoes, brushed my hair, cut my hair, talked to anybody, hugged anybody, ate with anybody in so long. Am I going to be able to fit back in?

I wasn't worried about him having a normal life again. I was the one that wanted it. I can tell he doesn't care. He just wants to be with me. I need to let go. For him. I love him.