Tarzan and James

Effort does not equal results

I need to get to James. I don't want to leave him alone. Knowing him he's probably crying right now and he's not comforting himself. I was always the one to because he needs me and I left him alone for so long.

I find some drift wood on the beach and use vines to make a small raft that is not stable. It's going to run on my arms but I will be fine. If I don't have to hold myself up my arms will hold me up for the short travel. It's time to go. I get a fair distance away from the island and I see them light it up with giant search lights. They will probably burn almost everything in an effort to find me or send a message if they can't. I'm glad I was able to put my pictures in his basket. At least they'll make it.

My arms burn from the paddling against the thick water. There isn't any wind so at least I have that.  I hope he made it safely. The wind was stronger and going in the right direction like I expected it to when he left so I hope he did. My muscles want me to rest but my heart won't let them. I need to get to him.

I'm desperate to get to him so I have as much time as possible before the inevitable. It's not safe for him anywhere but back home and he has to go. They won't stop looking for me. They will find me. They will not find him.

After a battle with my body to keep going I reach the shore. I don't know this island as well but the small house I built years ago isn't far from shore so hopefully he's there waiting for me. It's not safe for him outside at night. I'm not safe outside. I come to the house and okja jumps up and greets me. Oh thank god he made it safe. He's inside waiting for me. The relief I feel is none like I've felt before. I open the door and look down to the bed. No ones there. I look around the small room. Nothing. Where could he have gone? Okjas the only thing here so hopefully he took the food everything else with him. I need to find him.

I don't want to yell his name because I'm worried there are agents here. "Okja. I need you to find James." I whisper in her ear. She smells my hand and takes me back to the beach. She gestures out into the water. He didn't make it to shore. Who was I kidding he wouldn't have to courage to run off blindly when I told him not to. I need to get him before the water does. I jump in and start screaming. "James! James I'm here! Please yell back so I can find you!" I quiet down and listen for his response. Nothing. "James! Please! James! James!" Still nothing. I can't believe myself! I shouldn't have left him alone!  I was just going to end up coming over here anyways I shouldn't have left him! "God damn it James please answer! Please I love you! James!" Nothing.

I need to search more. He is alive. He is. I swim  god knows how many miles until my arms give up for the night. My arms hurt but nothing compares to my heart. I have lost all strength and I float my way back to the island. I will search around the island. Maybe he's along the shore some where.  Me and Okja spend the whole night walking around the edge of the island and surveying the water. Nothing.  I need to search the water again. It's light and I will be easy to spot but that means nothing as long as I get to James alive. "Okja stay here and  watch out for him. You see him you save him okay?" I dive in and begin my search again.

Eventually after I've covered the distance between the two islands I'm back to my old home. Everything's quiet and I was right about the burning. It's quite but I know they aren't gone. They are just laying low. Maybe he got knocked off but made it back here and I need to get him before they do. I'm not usually unrealistically optimistic but optimism is the only thing that is keeping me from jumping onto a big pile of rocks after a few hundred feet. I need to think of places where he would go and feel safe. I search as quiet as possible.

Hours go by with nothing. I have managed to keep out of sight but I in no way feel safe. I pause to try and listen for any sort of hint that James is near by and I hear a strange noise. I turn towards it and focus hard in the dim light. I see a pair of eyes looking back at me. But they are not friendly eyes. I look slightly lower and I realize what the sound was. Them loading a dart gun. I said I will not kill them but they will not take me until I know he's safe. I pick up a large rock and throw it at the pair. They are standing so close it hits both of them in the head. Normally my aim is spot on but I guess I'm just emotional. Hopefully I didn't kill or give them brain damage. I don't have time to sit around and find out. I'm still on a mission.

More and more hours of the same thing. Searching the island I know better than any one else could. There's no where he could have been that I had searched. I will search he other island again and the water in between. Obviously I missed something. It's dark again and I jump in to the water. Again.

I make it all the way back to the island and again nothing. My voice at this point doesn't work  I've been yelling too much. I get back to the island and I feel the pang of hunger. "Okja!" My voice is quiet and it cracks. I don't think she heard me. Hopefully she's back at the house. I make it back and there she is. I smile and I try to call to her but once again nothing comes out. Something jumps down from the trees and I don't even have time to react before the figure is running at me full speed. This is it. I don't have the energy to run away. They have me. I just hope James got away.