Shattered (Harry Styles Fanfiction)

37

ALLY'S POV

As my mind flies through everything that has happened to me, I realize the only way I can go through with this.

I can't tell Harry.

........

I put my car in drive and think about my decision. I can't tell Harry, if I were to tell him, he would go ballistic and I would never be able to forgive myself if he didn't go on tour. Fans would hate me forever, whether I had cancer or not.

I sigh and pull out of the parking lot carefully. I slowly make my way home.

I turn on my phone speakers in the car and call Harry.

"Hello?" he answers on the second ring.

I take a shaky breath to keep back the tears to come.

"Hey babe, I'm on my way home" surprisingly, no tears come. I'm tired of crying. This is getting fucking annoying.

"Oh okay, I just left. I'm with the boys, do you need me to come home, do you feel alright?" he starts getting worried.

"I'm okay Harry, go have fun. I'm probably going to go paint or something later anyway." He sighs and there's a long pause.

"Okay, are you sure your okay? you sound- off" this makes me gulp. I ponder the words before saying anything.

"Yeah, just tired, ya know?" I bite my lip and tighten my grip on the steering wheel.

"Okay, I love you" he says warily into the phone.

"Love you too, talk to you later" I hang up and take deep breaths, keeping myself from having a mental breakdown.

I pull into the empty driveway, still taking deep breaths as I slowly climb out of my car.

"Why is my life so fucked up?" I ask myself as I walk towards the porch.

"Well, I don't know, why is your life so fucked up?" I hear someone say. I pick my head up and look into the eyes of my best friend.

"Hey El" she smiles at me and walks over to give me a hug. She plants a simple kiss on my cheek, letting me know she's here for me.

"Come on, tell me what's going on" she grabs my hands gingerly and pulls me onto the porch. We sit together on the padded bench, and she turns to me, folding one leg under her.

I take a deep breath before speaking.

"So I went to chemo today." She nods at the start of my story "and my doctor told me that my cancer has spread throughout my body. He said there was this opportunity to get an extended cancer treatment, so I took it." Her brow furrows as my story gets deeper. "So the thing is, I will have so much medicine in my body, that my immune system will be kinda shot, and I'll be in the hospital, bedridden for two months." I sigh, as the hard part comes out of my mouth "and I know if Harry knows about how much pain i'll be in, he won't go on tour, and that will put us both in trouble. So, I decided that I won't tell him until after my first treatment, because once you've had the first dose, you have to follow through, and there's no way he would he able to tell me no" I feel the hard pains in my chest subside, it felt good telling someone my predicament.

"But don't you hate lying to him like that?" she questions openly. I meekly nod my head.

"I do, but if I want to get better this is the only way. I know he'll have no problem with me having it, but he'll have a problem with me having it when he's not here, you know how frantic he gets just to leave me home alone for a few hours" Eleanor laughs lightly at my words.