Teach Me How To Love

Part 36 ~ Nobody Knows My Heart Like You

"Oh . . I'm happy to hear that . . I'm happy to know that you and Destiny are doing fine. I really am. Michael you need to know a few things . . now, before I start, I need to say something else first . . I know you think of me as this super weird ex girlfriend trying to win you back but I can assure you that I'm not going to try anything to make you come back to me . . I'm simply here to tell you about my feelings for you and that I still have hope for us"

I remain silent for a moment. Just as I'm about to say something, Nastasia continues talking. "And . . it's not so much that I miss you as my parter . . it's more because of Zaira. When she tells me about her girlfriends at school . . you know . . their parents still being together and all . . and then I have to explain to her over and over again why you and I aren't togeter anymore . . it's a pain . . and by pain I really mean pain. It's hurts me . . and . . I can't deny that I do miss you . . but I would love for us to get closer again . . for the sake of Zaira . . I don't know what the future holds . . and I don't wanna ruin the thing you have with your girlfriend . . but I want you to look deep inside and ask yourself what we both could do to make Zaira happy"

"Nastasia . . I do understand where you're coming from . . and I would be lying if I said I never thought about us in the past . . but you need to know that first of all, I'm in a very happy, committed relationship . . plus . . I don't think it's right to get back together, and force each other to be happy, just for the sake of our daughter. She's a smart girl . . she will figure it out sooner or later that we're not truly happy . . and don't you think that it's even worse to pretend, instead of just facing the fact that we're not supposed to be together?"

She looks at me with a blank stare but then looks down at the table and continues talking. "Michael, I know what you're saying and it totally makes sense . . but don't you think that if we spend more time together, our relationship could grow into what it used to be? . . I really want this to happen . . we had a daughter for a reason . . I mean, God wouldn't have helped me get pregnant if he thought you and I weren't meant to be-"

"Ok, stop . . . first of all, don't get God into this . . he didn't get you pregnant, I did. I'm a believer of the Lord, too, but come on, Nastasia . . it's pretty tasteless to get God into this to make a point. You barely ever mention him . . why now? . . it doesn't make any sense"

"Ok . . ok, you're right. This doesn't have anything to do with God but don't you see what I'm trying to say? . . we have a child together . . a child that's ours . . don't you feel it in your heart that we owe it to Zaira to at least TRY to make it work?"

"Nastasia . . . I'm . . . I don't even know what to say . . I'm in a relationship . . ok? . . I'm with someone. What part of that don't you understand? I really like that girl and I want to build a future with her"

"Michael . . what future do you have with her? . . we have a daughter together! all you share with her is a bed and a TV"

"Nastasia . . did it ever occur to you that nothing's standing in the way of me and Destiny having a child of our own? . . and what are you gonna say then? . . I'm caring for Zaira . . I'm paying you more than what I owe you in child support . . I don't see a reason for you to be acting like this . . you never talked to me about these feelings when I was still single . . . and now that I'm in a realtionship you're super crazy obsessed with getting back in touch with me . . . what's that all about? . . I've moved on, ok? . . and I wish you did, too"

"Michael . . I'm sorry . . I get what you're saying . . all I'm trying to say is that I'm hoping that one day we could pick up where we left off . . for Zaira . . and for us"

"There is no us . . and I'm sorry to say it like that but it's true and I mean it . . I'm happy in my current relationship and I wish you'd be happy for me, too"

"I am happy for you, Michael . . . but I'd be much happier . . if . . I was the one you're in a relationship with . . baby . . nobody knows my heart like you"

. . . . .

"Here's a 20 dollar bill . . . I have to go, I'm sorry" I put the money on the table, put on my coat and leave the coffee house. "Michael, wait!" I hear Nastasia yell after me. I choose to ignore her and unlock my car. She comes running out, holding her coat and dropping her purse. "Michael! . . why did you leave like that?"

"I'm sorry . . I just didn't have anyhting to add to our conversation . . I have to leave now!" Nastasia grabs my arm and tries to keep me from getting into my car. "Michael, wait!" A split second later, I feel her grabbing my face and giving me a kiss on the mouth. I quickly pull away and look at her with a huge question mark over my head. 

"What the heck? . . no! . . don't do that stuff, ok? . . just don't!" I say, getting into my car. Something tells me to look to my left before driving away . . and now I know what . . Destiny's best friend Theresa is standing on the other side of the street . . and by the look on her face I can tell that she saw what she wasn't supposed to see. 

To be continued . . .