Teach Me How To Love

Part 19 ~ Love Notes in His Briefcase

~ Destiny's point of view ~

I'm in a cab on my way to my place. I couldn't stay with Michael . . I wanted to but I just couldn't. Why does this woman have to be in Michael's life? . . and why does she have to be so damn crazy? I'm scared. She scares the crap out of me. Will Michael and I ever be in peace together? or will Denise continue to ruin what Michael and I have? . . . I really like him . . I want him . . . I think I've crossed the bridge between I like him and I love him . . . . . I wanna be happy with Michael but I know I never could. . . not with Denise around. . . locked up or not . . she's still here.

I couldn't enjoy the night with Michael and pretend nothing ever happened. Maybe he can, but I can't. This woman is crazy and she will be back. . . . I know she will. Her obsession with Michael is unhealty and frightening. . . she will not let go of him . . . not anytime soon. I know that. I don't wanna break it off with him but is this really what I want? . . can I fall in love with Michael and be happy with him with Denise around? I highly doubt it . . .

I pay the cab driver and get into my apartment. The silence in here hurts me in a way that I can't explain. But I chose to leave . . . I wanted to go . . . I had to. Otherwise I would've gone completely crazy at his place, thinking about Denise and what happened. Something like that I can't just brush off . . . whenever I feel like Michael and I can finally start our relationship, Denise steps in, putting up a brick wall between us . . . . a wall that keeps me from being with him. Like a shield that she's using to keep me away from him.

I drop down on the couch and look up at the ceiling. My eyes are starting to feel wet and I'm all chocked up. I shouldn't have left . . . . now I miss him terribly. . . . but I didn't wanna stay and explain to him why I wanted to leave . . . looking at his beautiful face would've only made it impossible for me to even say something. I can't look at Michael and tell him that I can't be with him anymore . . . . . all I wanna do when I look at him is hug him and kiss him . . . . and I wanna do that right now. . . . more than anything. I shouldn't have left. . . . but then again . . . sleeping next to him with Denise on my mind, I couldn't have done either.

A phonecall from Michael interrups my deep thoughts. I look at the display, thinking about whether I should pick up or not. I want to pick up but the sound of his cute voice would only make me hate myself even more . . . . I left without leaving him a note . . . without a text message . . . without a phonecall . . . I just left. The pain in my heart from what happened with Denise is sitting deep within me. . . too deep.

A minute later my phone starts ringing again . . . . . it's Michael.
I grab the phone and pick up this time:

"H-Hello?"

"Destiny? . . . where did you go?"

"I. . I left . . ."

"Why did you leave? . . is everything ok?"

"Um . . yea . . I'm alright . . . it's just that . . . Michael I . . ."

"What's wrong? . . . you can talk to me"

"Michael I . . . I can't deal with Denise anymore . . ."

"Is that why you left?

"Michael I had to . . . I'm sorry I left without saying anything . . I just-"

"Destiny . . . I apologize from the deepest of my heart for what happened today! . . if I knew, I would've never taken you home to me . . . I'm sorry . .ok? I KNOW it's hard dealing with her! I KNOW! . . . but please don't shut me out . . . we had this problem before and we got over it, remember? . . . please don't walk away from me because of her . . . she will never get me back if that's what you're afraid of . . . I wanna be yours . . . do you understand? . . . I wanna be yours, Destiny . . . one day Denise will get her act together. . . one day all of this will be history and we will laugh about it"