Teach Me How To Love

Part 44 ~ God's Plan

~ Destiny's point of view ~

He brought Zaira with him.

I rush up to her and hug her. "Hi, sweetie. Is it ok if your dad and I talk alone for a second?" 

"Yes"

I take Michael's hand and walk him to the bedroom. My cheeks are wet from all the tears I've been crying. Michael gently pushes me up to the wall behind us. He wipes my tears and gives me a long, gentle kiss on my mouth. "I'm worried, Destiny . . what's going on? are you alright?"

"I guess I am . . but I don't know if you'll be when I tell you"

"Tell me what? . . what happened?"

. . . . .

"Michael . . I felt weird this morning . . I have been feeling weird for a few days now . . but this morning at work was unbearable . . so . . after work I stopped by the pharmacy to get pregnancy tests . . I made all three of them . . and they were all . . postive . . Michael, I'm pregnant" 

I fall into Michael's chest. He wraps his arms around me. "Y-You're pregnant . . wow . . that . . that's certainly a surprise"

. . . . .

Silence fills the room. 

Awkward, painful silence.

"You hate it, don't you?" I say, my voice breaking halfway. "Hate it? are you crazy? I don't hate it . . I just . . didn't expect it . . I mean, we were using protection, weren't we?"

"We were . . but . . I guess protection isn't always 100% . . Michael . . I'm just as shocked about this as you are . . I . . can't even think straight . . I'm pregnant . . WE are pregnant"

"Looks like we are . . wow . . you're shaking . . come here!" He takes me in his arms and holds me tightly for a moment. No words being sad . . utter silence filling the bedroom again. I wanna be happy . . this is supposed to be a happy moment . . but I can't help but feel so terribly lousy. 

I'm pregnant. 

I'm pregnant with Michael's baby. 

Why does it feel so wrong, when it should feel right? I love him. I love him more than anything . . but I guess the thought of Nastasia in the back of my head is ruining it all. I can just see her face not being happy with this at all. How can I enjoy this moment? . . I can see it in Michael's eyes . . he wants to be happy, too . . . but he isn't. Too much crap going on with his ex . . how could he be happy?

This is such a bad time. 

"Look at me" Michael says, grabbing my face, forcing me to look deep into his eyes. "Everything will be alright, ok? We'll be fine. This is a beautiful thing and we're happy about it, ok? . . no tears"

"I know . . I don't know why I'm crying. . it's both happiness and sadness, I don't know why . . it's just everyhting all together . . your ex girlfriend . . Zaira being unhappy . . you being stressed out about it all . . I just . . I never imagined me being pregnant anytime soon . . I wanted to get engaged first . . get a house together first . . get married first . . I didn't want this to happen now, I'm sorry for crying but I just can't help it, Michael . . I'm sorry but I can't help the way I feel"

"Hey . . you have every right to feel the way you feel but we can't turn back the time, ok? you being pregnant is something beautiful . . it was God's plan . . we have to trust his will, ok? . . it'll be alright. I love you and there's nothing you should worry about"

. . . . .

"Are you sure?"

"Of course, I'm sure . . . I'm very sure that I love you"

. . . . .

A smile appears on my face

"I love you too, Michael" 

We hug each other one more time before going back to the living room. Zaira is sitting on my couch, looking at a fashion magazine. "Dad? . . are we going to get fries at the mall now? I'm hungry"

"Sure baby . . is it ok if Destiny comes along?"

. . . . .

"No"

I feel my heart skipping a beat. Did Zaira just say NO to me coming along with them? How come? I don't understand. Michael walks closer to her. "It's not ok for Destiny to come with us? . . Zaira, why are you saying that?"

"You said we're going to the mall . . you said WE are going . . you and I"

"I know . . and we will be going . . Destiny is going to come with US . . is that alright?"

~ Michael's point of view ~

"Dad, I said no!!" Zaira yells, storming out of Destiny's apartment. My mouth falls open in shock over her reaction. I never in a million years expected her to act like this. How much worse can all of this get? I tell Destiny to wait on the couch for me. I rush outside. Zaira is standing next to my car, waiting for me with her arms folded angrily.

"Baby? . . what are you mad about? . . mind telling me?"

"I want to go to the mall with you, dad . . not with Destiny"

. . . . .

"I get that . . I got that, honey . . but . . you like Destiny, don't you?"

. . . . .

She remains silent. 

"Zaira, what's gotten into you all of a sudden? you and Destiny always got along really great, didn't you?"

"NO!! I HATE HER!!" She yells, opening the car door and getting in on the backseat. Wow. This has got to be one of the worst days in my life. First the drawing . . now the surprise pregnancy . . and now Zaira hates Destiny. I need a minute to free my mind, this is too much right now. 

I open the car door and look at Zaira. "Put on your seatbelt, baby . . I'll be right with you" I close the car door and rush back inside to tell Destiny that it's not the best idea for her to come with us . . which pains me deeply . . she just told me she's pregnant . . being with her and spending time with her is what she needs right now . . but Zaira needs me just as much, if not more. 

God.

If this really is your plan for me, please put the pieces together soon. Because right now I'm screwed and I don't know left from right.

I wish I could clone myself so that there's two of me. One for my daughter and one for Destiny. I head inside and tell Destiny the bad news. She understands. Well, that's what she says. I know for a fact that she doesn't. Who would? . . Zaira started hating her from one day to the other. I grab her face and kiss her passionately. "I love you . . I love you so much . . tomorrow night I want you to stay at my house, ok? . . you don't have to cook . . I'll take you out to dinner, how does that sound?"

"Sounds wonderfully romantic, Michael . . ."

"Call Theresa . . spend tonight with her . . I don't want you to be alone. I love you. I'll call you, ok?"

"Ok, honey . . I love you"

I give her one last kiss and then walk to the door. That's when I see my car rolling down, heading towards the street. I feel my heart dropping down to the floor. Oh my god, Zaira!!

To be continued . . .