Thomas Sanders Sides OneShots

High School 2 - No Ship

Roman walked down the hallway of the empty school, the scene from earlier today playing over and over in his mind.

"You've always been a huge piece of shit, If I could kill you I would!"

Roman sighed, he really made a big mess, didn't he?

He entered the music room, closing the door and sitting behind the music instruments, dropping his bag and holding his head in his hands.

"I messed up" he whispered, "...bad" he never wanted it to get this out of hand, he just wanted attention....he wanted to feel like he was something instead of nothing...

"I never meant to make it such a mess, I never thought that it would go this far" Roman whispered, shuffling further back, completely hidden from anyone who looked in.

"So I just sit here sorry, searching for something to say...something to say" he chuckled weakly, "something to say to that poor emo nightmare...but there's nothing I can say"

"I guess I thought I could have some attention, I never had this kind of thing before, I never had that perfect boy, who somehow could see the good part of me..." Roman felt water drop onto his hand, he quickly realised he was crying.

"I never had the dad who stuck it out, no corny jokes or baseball gloves...no mom who just was there, cause mom was all that she had to be..." Roman thought to his life at home and shook his head punching the ground.

"That's not a worthy explanation" he chuckled with no humour, "I know there is none, nothing can make sense of all these things I've done...I'm so sorry, Virgil" He spoke under his breath, closing his eyes.

"There is nothing I can say, I had attention and I saw everything I wanted...everything I wish I had" he sobbed, "it was right there! It was in front of me, I believed it was true, but it wasn't...so I made it true, and I ruined it....like everything else in my life" his voice became quieter until it was barely a whisper. Luckily it was after hours, no one would see his breakdown.

"It was just a sad invention, it wasn't real, it never was...but I was happy, I couldn't let it go, couldn't give it up, I wanted to believe because if I did I wouldn't see what was really there" he cried and cried, slamming his hands against the floor.

"I'd rather pretend I'm something more than these broken parts, pretend I'm something other than this..this mess, because then I don't have to look at it, no one gets to look it at...no one would see the real me" Roman rested his head against the wall and stared at the blank ceiling.

"I haven't learned to slam the brakes before I turn the key, before I make the mistakes, before I lead with the worst of me, I always let them see the worst of me...and I hate myself for it" he spoke like he was talking to someone, like he was talking to someone who cared...but in reality no one cared, no one cares for the bully.

"What if everyone saw the real me? What if everyone knew? Would they like what they saw? Or would they hate it and want the fake me back? Will I keep running away from what's true?"

Roman shook his head and buried it into his knees, wrapping his arms around his legs and sobbing quietly.

"All I ever do is run, so how do I step in, step into the sun?...how do I step into the sun...and end it all..."

--

Ha...ha

Soooooo, I kinda changed the lyrics to better suit Roman? I mean, I don't know what the actual song is from, but I interpreted them to be around Roman...in this one, obviously he's been through a lot.

Thanks for the request!

Real question is shall I do part three? 🤔