Out Of My Mind

Help Me

Stiles
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I look at her, utterly shocked. 17 days till she loses her mind? This cant be...

"No Lydia. We can do something. Deaton will figure something out... Ok? It's not too late. It's never too late." I say. She shakes her head.

"Stiles it's too late. There's nothing you can do to save me. And I don't want you to save me. I want you to... To go on with your life. You need to get away from Sam, as far away from her as you can. And then you're gonna live your life. Graduate, go to college, fall in love, and move out of this hell hole of a town. And you're gonna forget about me. You need to forget about me. I only told you about this to warn you about her. I'm too far gone." She says. I shake my head.

"Lydia you can't be too far gone. You aren't, okay? You're talking to me right now right? You still remember who I am, who you are- right? That proves you're not too far gone." I say. She shakes her head again and sighs looking down at her lap.

"Stiles it's already started to happen. I'm- I'm gradually going insane. I've literally been hearing noises and seeing things- things that haven't happened. For all I know, you aren't here. For all I know, Im up stairs, in my bedroom, talking to myself and you're just a figment of my imagination. I don't even know if you're real." She says shakily. I shake my head.

"I am real Lydia. I'm here with you. And you aren't going to lose your mind. I won't let you. I'll find a way to help you." I say. She sighs.

"Stiles please just... Just stop. I've already found a mental institute... If it gets to bad- I'm checking myself into it. I'm not going to lose my mind and end up hurting people. I can't do that. So you need to move on." She says. I sigh and shake my head.

"Lydia I can't-"

"Yes you can Stiles! You can, ok? You can live a normal life without me."

"Lydia no I can't. I can't live a life without-"

"Stiles you can! You can just-"

"Lydia I cant!" I say loudly. She backs off slowly, sensing the anger in my voice. I sigh and shake my head, rubbing my face softly, softening my tone as I speak again.

"I can't live without you Lydia. I'll never be able to live without you. Ever." I say, looking at her. I see that she's staring at her hands and bite my lip before grabbing them softly and pulling them up slightly and opening her hands, palm up as I put my hands in hers.

"Lydia I can't live without you. And I know this sounds stupid but- it's the truth. And it's always been the truth. Since the 3rd grade Lydia."

I take in a deep breath and uttered the words that I never thought I'd ever say- not to her face at least. Because I've always been to scared to speak up, to tell her how I truly feel. But with everything going on, with her absolutely convinced that I'll be ok if she's gone... What better time than now?

Even if she doesn't feel the same way, at least she knows that I won't be able to live a life without her. I will never be able to live a life without Lydia Martin.

"I can't live without you. Because, Lydia Martin, I... I love you. And if you go anywhere, if you lose your mind... I'll go out of my freaking mind. I'll be right there beside you, losing my mind too."

And thats enough to put her over the edge. Thats enough to crack any courage left in her, all of the will power that she has to stay calm whilst explaining this to me. As soon as I say it, she shakes her head and violently starts bawling.

I quickly pull her to me, wrapping my arms around her as she bawls into my chest.

"Shh shh it's okay. You're gonna be fine. You're gonna be okay." I say softly. She shakes her head and speaks through sobs.

"N-no. No it's not ok. Because now you care about me and- and that's what I was trying to stay away from! That's why I never got attached to anyone. Because I knew this was going to happen and I didn't want anyone to-"

I shush her again, rubbing slow, soothing circles on her back as she sobs. "Lydia I've always cared about you. Even though you've tried to push me away, I have and always will care about you. Okay?" I say. She shakes her head.

"Than I need to stay away from you. Because I don't want you hurting. I don't want you to have to suffer from my punishment." She says softly, as she sobs. I shake my head.

"Lydia don't you understand? That's what she wants. She wants you to stay away from me, and she wants you to be punished." I say. She sniffles, keeping her head on my chest as she listens to me speak.

I pull her onto my lap and slowly rock back and forth as I rub her back, her head resting on my chest.

"I'm not leaving you. No matter what you say, I'm not leaving you. We're going to stick together, and I'm gonna figure out how to stop you from losing your mind. Okay?" I say. I feel her nod into my chest slightly.

We sit like that for a while, and after a few minutes I move my hand from her back to her hair and slowly brush pieces of it out of her face before running my hand through her hair slowly, trying to keep her calm.

After a while she speaks up, her voice soft as she keeps her head in my chest.

"Stiles?" She says softly. I nod looking down at her.

"Yeah?" I ask. She pauses briefly before talking again.

"How do you care about me? How could anyone care about me? No one cares about an imperfect bitch, and I- I was sure about that. How is it possible that you care about me?" She asks. I smile softly.

"Lydia I could tell it wasn't the real you. I could tell that under that hard shell, the shell that you had built up to protect you from people who care about you, to make sure no one cares about you enough to miss you, I could tell that it wasn't you. Because you're a brave, independent, beautiful, strong, intelligent girl." I say. I look down and see her smile as she lets out a short breath.

"No one... No ones ever said anything like that about me." She says, smiling as she looks up at me. I smile before shrugging.

"That's because no one else took the time to figure out who the real you is."

She smiled more than I think I've ever seen her smile. And we stayed there got a while. I stayed holding on to her and rocking her back and forth. And something that I never thought would ever happen, happened.

Lydia Martin fell asleep in my arms.

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AUTHORS NOTE:
OMG GUYS THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR 2K READS!!! YOU GUYS ARE AMAZING!!!! Keep on voting and make sure to comment on the chapters I wanna know what you think!
-Spaz