October 8, 2017
Do you have to fucking beat my siblings right fucking in front of me?
Do you have any fucking shame?
Here I am taking care of the baby who cries hearing the cries of its siblings and sound of your demonic belt drawing bruises on toddlers.
I had nightmares as a kid.
I still have nightmares.
And now I have pain imprinted on my soul.
What is it with humanity and pain? It is not the answer to all your problems. You can't just cause pain to your problems until they are too weak to be significant, then ask them to respect you and stop crying, don't complain, stand up straight, smile, and fucking study. I don't want to study anymore. I want to die.
But they're taking it easy on them. Nothing close to what I had to endure. I had no Netflix, no cable, no Xbox, I had to use my own imagination as entertainment.
And boy did my imagination torment me.
For years it killed me, I feared for my life because I saw everything as a threat.
Now that I'm older I expect it to be easier. It is, but the death threats are real.
I was terrified every time they were home, and still am.
It really sucks and I just wanna say shame on all people who think it's okay to beat your kids. Shame. They are human beings and fuck you if you think they don't deserve things because you're the one who raised them and if your kids end up like me or kill themselves then fuck you for not stopping them.
Hey mom and dad
Wait no- you don't have the privilege of being called that-
Hey asshole and dishwasher- that's what you believe women are anyways-
Thanks.
A very fake I love you,
Your punching bag.
I'll never be what you wanted me to be.
I'll never be what I wanted to be either.
Just remember-
I'm the one with the nightmares.
YOU ARE READING
Lost Forever In A World Of My Own
RandomI used to focus on the smaller monsters, Hoping that The bigger ones would Somehow Lose significance and fade away Come to realize The bigger monsters, And the smaller monsters? They're one in the same. It's all me- A prison of my own making. -Ra...
