Blinded by Limerence

01 | Something Needs to Happen

"Stop being creepy, Trev," Archer laughed as he threw a light punch to his arm.

That's Trevor.

Trevor Parks, to be exact. I don't know him personally as you'd think, considering my über-popular self (note the sarcasm), but I've seen him around class. When he bothers to show up, that is. He's the textbook definition of a bad boy who loves 'em and leaves 'em; the word 'matrimony' probably doesn't exist in his dictionary, but that's just my opinion. You can never not see him sporting his classic leather-jacket-and-white-shirt look.

Like, can you be any more of a cliché? 

"Disgusting as usual, Trevor," responded Addie with a fake smile. She turned to the other boy, her expression changing completely. "So, Chase, where are you taking me tonight?"

Chase Humphrey, the kind of guy you'd find having his nose buried deep in a book. He's top in his class, the expected valedictorian. Smart but down-to-earth. The moment he puts down his book and bites his lip, you know he's into you... and that's how Addie became invested in him.

I know this how, you might ask? Well, it's all Addie ever talks about. Wait, scratch that—they're all the whole school talks about.

Archer, Trevor, and Chase. Girls throw themselves at them, and guys bow down at their feet. Basically, if and when you fall for one of them, you're a lost cause, unless you're rich and/or pretty—and not even a special kind of pretty; just your typical painted face and big cup size would do—both of which I am not.

In Addie's case, Archer's her twin brother, so she has immediate access to any of the beautiful boys she wants.

"Addison," Chase smiled, face lighting up slightly at her presence. "H-how about at my place?" he offered shyly. "That biology project isn't going to finish itself."

"Right," Addie giggled, tucking a stray strand of ash brown hair behind her ear. "Anyway," she said, pretending to be bored and blowing up at her overgrown bangs, "see you later, boys."

Swinging her hips as she walked, she traipsed away wordlessly to the lockers with me trailing behind her. Once we were out of earshot, she stared at me, her painted lips a straight, tight line, and her eyebrow raised up slightly.

"What?" I questioned, giving her a suspicious look.

"Chase and I aren't going anywhere, M," she sighed before stopping at her locker. She punched in the code to the lock and opened the door to get her books for next period out. "He picked me as his bio partner, but he hasn't made a pass at me yet."

I did the same, taking out my physics and history books. "And that's a bad thing...?"

"Of course it's a bad thing!" snapped Addie. "I like Chase, and I actually have a chance... but I'm frustrated over nothing happening between us other than being partners!"

"At least you've got a chance," I scoffed. I haven't got much going for me, but one thing I always had in my arsenal was the ability to one-up any love-related issues because there was no beating how pathetic my love life was. "My crush on Archer is a dead-end, and everyone who knows knows it, too. You, Hanna, my mom... and yet I can't help but blush over him almost every minute of every day!"

"Wait, your mom knows...?" ridiculed Addie.

"Ha ha, very funny. I know it was you who told her," I muttered.

"Sorry, M," she smiled innocently. "She practically pulled it outta me."

"Whatever," I snorted in disbelief. I cleared my throat, and in response, Addie rolled her eyes, knowing where the conversation was going. "So, um, w-what did he—?"

"Waffles," Addie cut me off, her voice laced with irritation. "He had waffles for breakfast, okay, M? You happy?"

A small but genuine smile pulled at the corner of my lips as I nodded enthusiastically. "That I am," I responded, earning another groan from my best friend.

She narrowed her eyes at me as she shut the locker door and put back the lock. "I still don't get you."

Addie—being my best friend and all—certainly knew how deep my obsession over her brother ran, but she had a point; she just doesn't get it. As the more popular one of us two, she gets all the guys. She's never had to experience the whole one-sided thing, whereas I'm the total opposite.

Then again, she never goes for the real thing, either; she takes it with no strings attached, that sort of thing (though she's never actually gone all the way). I was beginning to think her little crush on Chase may be the actual first time she didn't get what she wanted immediately. She's so smitten with him, more than she cares to admit. She might even want something serious with him, for all I know. 

I don't know, Addie's pretty hard to read, and she can be quite closed off when it comes to the matters that, well, matter.

As someone who hasn't experienced her share of limerence, she just can't wrap her head around the art of it all, such as the need for information and gathering such info to mull over later. Details—like what Archer had for breakfast—allow you to pretend that you actually know the person you obsess over, even though the painful reality of it all is that you don't know them at all.

I know it's a waste of my time to be crushing on the guy every girl in school wants when I could be focusing on my future like what college I'll be going to in the fall... and I know I don't have a shot with Archer, but I really can't help myself.

With a sigh, I quickly grabbed my things out of my locker and zoomed out of there, leaving Addie behind. "I'll see you and Hanna at the cafeteria," I said before I briskly walked across the hallway with students weaving in and out... until someone caught my eye.

There he was, my Archer, with his arm leaning against the wall as he conversed with Trevor and Chase. When he smiled, my heart stopped and so did the world around me. His dimple was shown, and just the mere fact that it was only on one side proves that imperfection is perfection. He ran his hand through his hazel locks, his round eyes shining at something Trevor said.

...and that's when for a fleeting moment, he looked at me, and our eyes met, gazes locking.

My pulse quickened as my face turned a shade of bright red. As if it was a reflex, I turned the other way and wandered into my classroom.

That's how my everyday goes: On good days, he'd look, but on normal ones, he wouldn't even pay attention, much less throw a glance my way.

Even though I'm his sister's best friend, that doesn't give me much of an advantage than you'd think, and honestly, I'm tired of it. I'm tired of falling for someone who barely knows me, of trying to move on because I fail every damn time.

Why can't love be easy for me like it is for the rest of the world? A year ago, I saw Archer from across the classroom, then I knew. I'm not saying I believe in love at first sight, but I guess that's kinda what I'm saying. A year ago, why couldn't our eyes have met, and he falls in love with me, too? Isn't that how fairy tales go? Isn't that how you find the Romeo to your Juliet?

I sighed, once again lost in my self-consuming thoughts. 

Something needs to happen, and he won't be the one to reach out, to initiate an interaction, so really, it's up to me. This much, I know to be true.

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A/N [04.27.20]:

Hi, people! So, that was the first chapter! I'm so, so excited to show you more!

Also, I just watched A Dog's Journey (really good movie, BTW), and I realized that CJ is exactly who I envision Morgan to be!

The actress' name is Kathryn Prescott, but, well, y'know how the actor/actress is usually different from the role they play (duh)?

Well, yeah, so CJ is Morgan for me, but feel free to imagine her any way you want!