utopia | fillie

white lights

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in which ~ we discover that some people just aren't meant to be

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millie's p.o.v.

"finn. cut to the crap. i saw you and maddie, in the bathroom." my eyes begin to water, i blink back the tears. "i know you cheated on me that night, that's why i left"

his mouth drops open and he leans forward in the stiff hospital chair. placing his head in his hands, his leg begins to shake.

i gulp.

finn looks back up at me, this time with no glasses, his eyes filled with tears and fear. "millie, i don't know what you're talking about."

my eyes well up with tears.  "w-what?"  i ask, my voice breaking.

his eyes grow big with bewilderment.  "m-millie, i would never cheat on you."

i hold my eyes closed, hoping this is just a bad dream.  i don't know what to feel, is he lying?  did i just spend the last two months miserable, for nothing?

"you've got to be kidding me."  i mutter, looking up at him.

"why would i lie, pretty girl?"

i suck in a deep, jagged breath.  "finn, i need time to process this."

he stands up.  "what's there to process, brown!?  we all make mistakes, i still love you." 

"i'm tired finn."  i say.  "and it's so awfully hard to be sad and tired when all you want is to feel alive."

"i love you."  finn whispers, his voice squeaking like a mouse.

"please, just go."

with that he leaves, opening the heavy hospital door with shaking hands and hurrying out without looking back.

i lay there in the white hospital bed, under blankets that are as stiff as cardboard, and one thought keeps circling my mind. 

if that wasn't finn, who was it?

my thoughts are interrupted by wyatt running in. 

"babe!  they had donuts!"  he yells, causing my head to pound.

"wyatt,  for once, be a doll and shut the fuck up."

he looks uneasy.  "fine."  he whines, walking over to the chair and slumping down in it, like a little kid.

my stomach becomes queasy.  "i-uh don't feel too good."

wyatt rolls his eyes.  "if you make me, of all people, leave right now, i won't be coming back."

his harsh words shock me.  "w-what do you mean?"  i ask, my quavering voice breaking.

"i think you fucking know.  you don't love me, and i never loved you.  so why not just leave me? 'cause we all know you will eventually."  wyatt spits, through his tone you can tell he's at ease with the situation.

his emotionless gaze makes me calm. this had to happen sometime, we're just not made for each other.

"okay."  i whisper.

"wait, what?"  wyatt looks up, his eyes wide.  "i was just kidding babe."

i shake my head, pursing my lips.  "you know that's bullshit, oleff." 

he eases into the chair, recognition of the truth flowing through him.  he mercifully gives in.

nodding slowly, his curls fall into his eyes.  "you sure you'll be alright brown?"