Chasing After The PA | Complete ✔

Chapter 46 - Lay Your Head Down

"You're improving," he said softly, I felt a hand run through my hair. "I knew my girl would."

I sniffled, looking up at the ceiling. Improving. I didn't know how I felt about that.

I looked at him weakly trying to muster up the last few pieces of strength in me to speak, "One of these days Adam, someone is going to find me."

A small laugh escaped his lips, he already knew that those words were empty. "Yeah, I found you." he moved closer to me, and wrapped both arms around my waist.

I didn't try to push them away. Maybe it was because I was already defeated or maybe I was that desperate for affection again; either way, I let him close. I tried to pretend that it was really Hunter who was cuddling up, but no matter how warm Adam's embrace really was, it felt ice cold to me.

"Why are you doing this to me Adam?" I asked quietly.

"Because I'm not going to lose you again," he answered, his hot breath on my neck. "I love you, I've always been the one to really do so."

What even was the concept of love anymore? I thought that I was clear on it, but I wasn't so sure now.

I believed that what I had with Hunter was love, but was it really love if they could leave you just with the snap of a finger?

I used to believe that what I had with Adam was real love until he became abusive, but he came back for me. Even after years of not seeing him, he still came back. Was that a skewed perspective on love? He was so determined on having me and only me, that he came back and let nothing get in his way to reunite with me.

Hunter hasn't done that.

I mentally slapped myself on the wrist.

No, Payton. No matter how much you want to look at him as the good guy, he isn't. He never will be.

I was disappointed in myself. How could I ever even compare Hunter and Adam together? Have I really begun to see Hunter as that evil of a person?

My mind raced with thoughts to the point where it hurt. I whimpered, and felt Adam quickly pull me even closer.

"What's wrong?" He asked.

"Just a headache," I answered.

"You haven't been eating enough," Adam scolded me like a child. "I've been trying to get you to eat more but you refuse."

"Because I said that I wasn't hungry," I tried to convince him.

I could tell by the way Adam was starting to squeeze me harder, that he was getting angry that I was talking back. "I'll eat more tomorrow," I quickly said.

He kissed the back of my head, "You have to promise me."

"I- I promise," I echoed. An ironic smile appeared in my head; that seemed like the only promise that could be kept.

"Get some rest darling," Adam said quietly, loosening his grip. His hands moved up to my temples gently massaging them for me. "I have a feeling that tomorrow will be a good day."

*****

The sound of crickets were always something that I looked forward to during the night. It was a symbol of another ending and a new beginning.

Crickets came out every night to sing their tunes, but when dawn came around, they finished up and waited until dusk once more. They were like the closing credits to every day, and it reminded me that there was always tomorrow to try again.

"You're letting him win."

I looked up from Hunter's chest, "What?"

His gaze stayed on the night sky, the reflections of the stars in his eyes. "You're losing your faith."