Dear Diary; I Love Someone

School, Blegh

(On Hangouts)

Em: I hate this year so far.

Er: Why?

Em: I don't have any classes with friends, I have lunch with only one friend, I have to start acting like a grown-up, I barely get to talk to my friends, and my love life is completely screwed up.

Er: Well you still get to talk to Tina at lunch and during the first half of the day. And you guys live near each other. And you see me three times a day and get to talk to me a bit on Hangouts as well.

Em: True....

Er: And Kat talks to you when she's not busy.

Em: Yeah....

Er: Is it Ben you're wanting to talk to more?

Em: NO

Em: ......maybe.....

Er: Emi, he's busy as well. A lot.

Em: He still doesn't talk around the time you guys have lunch...

Er: He just doesn't want to talk to you. Awkwardness, y'know?

Em: Guess I'm still hoping he'll regret leaving...

Er: If he decided he didn't love you, that's his fault. Don't waste time wishing he'd take it all back. Would you even want him back after how he hurt you?

Em: .....not really...

Er: Emi, just please move on.

Em: Okay...

Em: You're a good friend, Erin.

Er:  :)

Em:  :)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I smiled to myself. Erin really was a good friend, despite him being annoying at times. I thought for a moment. I could definitely see why Kat would have a small crush on him. 'He's smart, sarcastic, funny, and kinda cute. In fact, he's pretty much overall attra- NOPE. STOP RIGHT THERE BRAIN. HE'S STILL THE ANNOYING INNOCENT ONE. He annoys me, he doesn't understand any of the dirty jokes made on the group chat or when the group hangs out, I always have to explain everything because I'm so blunt and don't care about his innocence because he's freaking 15 he should know at least some of this stuff, and I'm the mom friend and consider my friends to be my children. He is the youngest child, very innocent. That'd be weird to have a crush on him or date him. But then again, Ben's my ex, and the whole family thing is new so I just automatically labeled him eldest son, so.... This train of thought is very weird and I have no idea how I got here. So I'll just stop thinking about it and do something else.'

I opened up YouTube and looked through my recommended. There was the usual Sims 4 stuff and 'crack videos' for shows I watched. But there were other ones such as 'Reasons Why Modern Relationships Are Fragile', 'When Will You Meet Your Soulmate?', 'Do One Of Your Friends Have A Crush On You?', etc...

'NO. NO YOUTUBE, NO. I am going to listen to some music and forget about everything.' I clicked on a new Nightcore song and listened. After a minute I froze and stared at the screen. 'NO. WHY DOES IT DESCRIBE MY LAST RELATIONSHIP PERFECTLY?! NIGHTCORE HAS BETRAYED ME.'

I shut my laptop and laid on my bed. Frustrated tears peeked out and I took a deep breath. 'No crying. So what if everything's confusing right now? It's all good. Just watch your anime and everything will be fine.' I sat up and turned on Netflix, playing my favorite anime for the time being.

'Why can't I be a main character in an anime? Their lives are interesting and the girls always seem to have like six guys fall in love with them.'

I slowly dozed off, entering the land of dreams.