𝘚𝘵𝘢𝘳𝘴 𝘋𝘢𝘯𝘤𝘦 «Zaylena»

43 ; Revised

Zayn and I walked out the English building onto the campus courtyard, in thought of Adam's words. I thought I would never see the day, because deep down Adam was a good person. Although, I can't lie when I say his words didn't surprise me.
-
Who ever Adam was seeing now, obviously had such an impact on him because before leaving to LA, Adam insisted and insisted even though I would never be able to see him that way. Post LA he has a totally different mindset.
-
"Adam finally shifting his attention off of you is something I look forward to everyday." Zayn said proudly. "It's like a weight has been lifted of my shoulders."
-
I rolled my eyes. "Are you happy?" I said with a forced a smile on his face.
-
"Never been happier, actually." He praised. "Who ever she is, really be rocking his world." Zayn chuckled. "When I find out who she is, I'm going to personally thank her." He smiled.
-
"You're insane." I laughed.
-
"For you baby." He said pulling me by the waist and pressing his mouth against mine. "For you." He mumbled against my mouth.
-
"Ok, ok." I said pulling away. "I'm going to go and hang with Vanessa and Ashely for a bit." I told him. "Since we've began back, my phones been vibrating none stop." I admitted.
-
"Good." He says. "It was starting to get a bit suspicious." He joked. I rolled my eyes. "My father texted me and he wants to see me." He said annoyingly.
-
"Oh yeah, I remember him saying something about seeing you when you came back from LA." I mentioned. "Please take it easy." I said kissing him on the lips.
-
He nodded his head. "I'll find you later ok?" He said.
-
"Alright." I smiled.
-
Zayn's point of View

I was already getting annoyed with meeting with my father, even though I haven't seen him yet. I refused to allow him to enter my dorm room and the flat he bought me as a way to win me over. I would have never used it if Selena had never came into my life. However, I needed to do something for her, I couldn't leave her with no place to stay after Lucy kicked her out for her ow dislike towards me.
-
Everything Lucy did and said about me didn't make sense. She claimed to hate my very existence, but did everything possible to make sure no one took interest in me. I guess I could understand why she would hate me after all our relationship went sour really fast under three years. She still held resentment towards Jackie for me supposedly cheating on her with Jackie. Which I have made it perfectly clear that we were no longer seeing each other and I was totally free to do whatever I wanted with who ever I wanted.
-
I arrived at the diner and sat my father talking to someone on the phone through the window of the dinner. I pulled the door open and he spotted me, and nodded his head sitting up in the booth as I approached him. "I would love to meet her-..." I heard him say. "She has nothing to worry about I am not that type of man." He said. "I gotta go...see you this Thursday." He added before hanging up the line and putting his phone in the pocket of his business suit.
-
I sat down in the booth across from him, and sighed at the dread I felt coming here. "I'm here." I lifted my shoulders carelessly.
-
"It's good to see you." He smiled. "How was LA?"
-
"Hot." I said carelessly. "Nothing you wouldn't know since you have the family you left us for living there." I remind him.
-
He didn't say anything and took a deep breath before focusing on my and brushing over my comment. "Zayn, what will it take for you just to listen to me without always having to end up in arguments?" He said.
-
"Quite frankly" I admit. "the only reason I even come to see you when you text me is so I can get you off my back for a month or so." I tell him. "Other than that, I have nothing else to say to you." I lifted my shoulders carelessly.
-
"I am not saying you and I will ever be at a peaceful place with each other because I did horrible things, in which I acknowledge." He says. "I at least want to be neutral with you, I know you won't ever forgive me for what I did but I just want to begin to build a relationship with you." He explains.
-
I chuckle and toss my head back. "Neutral? Neutral is disliking me as much I dislike you." I exclaim. "I don't like you James." I repeat. "Now that is being on neutral ground." I point out.
-
"I am sorry you feel that way, but I will always be your father Zayn and there is nothing in this world that is going to change that, whether you like it or not." He defends. "I am sick and tired of this childish attitude you carry towards me, every time I tried to amend things of my past." He adds.
-
"You don't get to tell me what you are sick and tired of" I argue. "You haven't been there for me in the last ten goddamn years!" I raise my voice loudly. "You didn't raise me, have to deal with me" I nod my head side to side. "You did nothing for me but leave." I lift my shoulders carelessly. "I will never ever forgive you for that."
-
"Zayn if you don't help me help you I cannot do anything for you." He said.
-
"Have you ever sat back and looked at your old life while you were sitting back on the beaches of LA, sipping on your fancy wine while you hugged your new wife and watched your kid run around the beach?" I set the scene for him. "What kind of life my sisters and I had after you left?" I swallowed the lump in my throat to speak, I could not cry here, not in front of him. I chuckled to mask my teary eyes. "Not even new wife because you and my mum aren't even divorced, you're just separated." I said. "Like did you even feel a bit sorry for us? Did you even remember you had four children who just needed you?" I lifted my shoulders.
-
"I was in a bad place." He said. "I was not myself I should have never treated your mother the way I did, I took it out on her because I didn't know how to deal with things I was going through." He explained. "I never once laid a hand on your mother, ever. If that brings you any peace of mind." He said. "However, I cannot deny the screaming, the yelling..." He nodded his head side to side. "Your mother and I just weren't working out anymore" He admitted. "But I tried Zayn, believe me I tried to stay for you and your sisters for as long as I possibly could." He explains. "But what I was going through, was eating me alive."
-
"I just wanted a dad." I begin to explain my side of things. "I wanted someone who would be proud of me when I aced an assignment, who could take me to football games, like normal dad would." I explained. "Instead I had to grow up quickly, my childhood died at the age of ten." I added. "I became this person I didn't want to be, some troubled kid who my mom just couldn't deal with anymore and had to call the very same person who cause all of this...I hate who I am." I point at my chest. "I will never have the stability I need to be a better person because there will always be this doubt within me. Do you understand that? I hate myself." I repeated.
-
"I am sorry for everything I ever did to you." He grows sensitive. "Your girlfriend must see past that-..." He begins.
-
"Selena has no business picking up the poor shell of a man that I've become" I defend. "I am the one who is responsible for myself, who has to lead on with this person I've become not her." I nod my head side to side. "It is not her responsibility to fix a broken man so she can love the finish product of that." I say. "I am not you" I remind him. "because unlike you, I didn't have to venture out and find a woman to fix me, I find Selena because I love her for who she is and she loves me the way I am and with the flaws I desperately hate, but carry." I explain. "How is your child by the way?, I hope you raised them way better than you raised me" I say carelessly. "You can't fuck up twice." I chuckle, this who conversation has just become a big joke to me at this point.
-
He sighed and wiped the tear running down one of his eyes, be pulled himself together not wanting to comment on anything I've said. "That was the main reason why I called you hear to meet me." He said. "There's something I need to tell you..." He trailed off.
-
I nodded my head side by side. "I don't want to hear anymore." I stopped him. "I didn't come here to hear what you have to say about your star child, I don't even want to know their name...none of it." I said. "Any conversation you and I have will always be me telling you have I feel and how I've always felt about you, until get through your head the damaged you have caused me all of my life." I explain to him. "Not little updates about your perfect little family." I said. "So if you'll excuse me, this conversation is done." I exclaimed standing up from the booth and walking off, not letting him the last word.
•••
I walked off to find Selena, and the only place I could think of where she would be was the dorm rooms with both of her friends. I made my way over there as I sent her a quick text, and hopefully by the tome I arrived across campus she would be outside.
-
I crossed the fountain in the middle of the school and looked up to see Chris coming my direction. I sighed, it not like I could avoid him, he had already say me. I stopped on my tracks and he smirked. "What ever you have to say to me say it and get it over with." I stated not rallying caring what happened at this point, I was frustrated with the whole encounter with my father and not this.
-
"No nothing." He said lifting his shoulders. "Just that Selena and I will be seeing each more often because we're friends." He smiled proudly. "There's nothing you can really do about it, I'm telling you now."
-
"Over my dead body." I said to him. "If I ever see you near her again I will-..." I threaten.
-
"It's not up to you." He defended. "Selena has found a friend in me, and I will make sure to take advantage of that in every aspect if you know what I mean." He smirked.
-
"Listen to me." I stood eye to eye with him. "I may not be able to anything, but I will make sure Selena sees you for what you truly are." I argue. "You said that shit about Adam being interested in her a while back so I wouldn't have my eye on you, didn't you?" I question. "It's not going to work." I made myself clear.
-
"What the hell are you talking about?" He shrugged my grasp from his shirt. "Maybe it's your paranoia talking." He smirked. "Don't tell me that thought of Lucy and I together still had got up all fucked" He said. "Up here." He pointed at the side of my head with my finger.
-
"Don't whatever you want." I said. "I stopped being interested in Lucy a long tome ago." I admitted.
-
"That's not what she told me the other day." He clicked his teeth.
-
I roll my eyes. "Think what you want."
-
He chuckled. "She practically had you eating out her hand." He said. "Doesn't seem you're over her." He said in air quotes. "What would Selena think?" He hums.
-
"Keep your mouth shut." I threatened.
-
"Oh she doesn't even know?" His eyes widen.
-
"Watch it Zayn, because one of these days maybe I'll be the shoulder Selena cries on." He laughed and walked off.
•••