The Road to Nowhere

Chapter 29: Dejection

She doesn't have anyone to disobey. I know that she shouldn't be disobeying anyone in the first place, but she needed too. It was comforting to her to finally get to do what she wanted. Going against what her father told her to do, made her feel free. Since he's gone, that disappeared. She feels like she has to grow up.

I'm not saying she's immature and she's a stupid teenager, she needs to conform to the life she's been given. She needs to accept that she isn't going to have constrictions anymore. She's allowed to be herself, and do whatever she wants without being told to do it. She needs stop blaming all the mistakes that she makes on her father, and take responsibility for her actions.

On the other hand, she has Brianna now. She's not a toddler but she's still a youngster. She needs to be taught how to live in this world by her big sister. I know right now, that's not going to happen. Not without me.

Hearing someone walk into the dinning room makes me lose my train of thought. I blink my swollen eyes. I finally stopped crying, but the pain in my head still remains. I turn around slowly in the chair to see Scooter standing before me. The dim light of the candles shows most of his face, I can see that it's covered in dirt and grime. His military uniform is splattered with blood, and his pistol hangs out of his pocket. His blond hair looks greasy and smelly, but mine probably does too.

"Hey." He says hushed.

I nod my head to say hello. I turn back around in my chair and grip on the glass of whiskey I've been sipping out of for twenty minutes now. I need something to bury my sorrows deeper inside me, and take away this enormous headache that makes me feel like I'm hungover. I know this doesn't compare to what I'll be feeling in the morning though.

"The screaming attracted some infected, but Layke and I went outside and put them down before they knew where all the yelling was coming from." He sits down next to me at the breakfast table.

"That's good," I take another sip of my drink. "How are you feeling?" I ask after the fiery liquid stings down my throat.

"Same old, same old." He shrugs. "You?"

"Honestly, real fucking bad." I laugh a little, but the feeling of complete helplessness washes over me, I have to hide the tears forming in my eyes. I don't want to seem like a wussy.

"I bet that's a understatement." Scooter laughs back. "I just want to apologize for Robbie's actions tonight. He's going through a lot."

I nod my head and try to hide my rolling eyes. I grit my teeth as I fight the urge to argue back.

"I know how you feel."

"You do?" I ask with a raised eyebrow. How in the hell does he know how I feel?

"Well, not fully. But I have an idea." He says and motions to take a sip of my drink by pointing to it.

I slide the glass over to him. "How so?"

"Do you feel like you could have done something different? Done something better?" He asks in a stern voice after he takes a sip of the drink.

Did he read my mind? "Yeah." I sigh.

"Then yeah, I know how you feel." He says and chugs the last couple sips in the glass. "Want more? What were you drinking?"