The Road to Nowhere

Chapter 29: Dejection

Chapter 29

I cannot believe Robbie did that to Summer. Just the thought of it makes my blood boil. I don't care if he was drunk out of his mind, or his wife died. There's no excuses. I should have killed him when I had the gun to his face.

Summer already has enough shit going on. Why the hell does she deserve that on top of everything. She didn't do anything wrong. All she does is help people, she the kindest person I know.

I know she has a hard time taking care of herself, but that's what I'm here for. Even if she doesn't love me like I love her, I'll still look after her. I'm Cameron, the best friend she's had for three years now.

I hope to God nothing happens to me. If something does, she'll break. She'll fall apart. I know her motive on life is to take care of Brianna, but she couldn't do that without me. Not yet.

I know she can take care of herself, but she's not ready. I've looked after her when her father didn't, when she was alone and afraid. I've come to her rescue every single time she's gotten in trouble. In the city, the restaurant, the hospital, the lake.

I need to slowly teach her how to defend herself. I have too. What happens if I'm gone? Who will take care of her? I know Layke won't. He couldn't do everything I do for her. He doesn't love her as much as I do, let alone know her as much as I do.

Scooter couldn't because he isn't a man yet. Not to be rude, but he follows Robbie around like a lost puppy. He can't do anything for himself.

Even on my grave, I wouldn't let Robbie ever touch, care, or be around Summer without me. Not after what he just pulled.

I'm the only one that can take care of Summer. If I'm not here to take care of her, than she won't be able to take care of Brianna. I need to stay alive for Summer, and Brianna. It's all in my hands.

Honestly, that puts a lot of shit on my shoulders. Guilt too. You have no idea how strongly I feel that James' death was my fault. I should've stayed at the back of that line when we were crossing the intersection. I know I would have handled that situation so much differently. Maybe if I was at the back of the line, James and Phoebe wouldn't be dead and Brianna wouldn't be passed out unconscious.

I should have done something different. I should have shot at the soldiers trying to take the girls. I could have saved all of them. More importantly, Summers well being.

I know she's suffering from the loss of her father. I can see it in her face and the way she carries herself. She might think she's hiding it from me, or maybe she's hiding it from herself too, but I know she's eating herself alive about it.

I know she misses her mother and her father. Even though her father kept her from the world, she had the comfort of not being able to worry about the stuff other kids had to worry about. She had a curfew and wasn't allowed to go to any of her friends houses. I remember asking her to come over many times, but she couldn't because of her father. I would never understand, I was right down the street.

She never had to worry about money. Not because she was always given money, it was the exact opposite. Her parents gave her nothing. Not in a punishable way, they didn't have anything to give. She didn't get to go out with friends much, only to places that didn't involve having to pay for something, like a park or hanging out at someone's house. But her father never let her, so there's no point.

No wonder why she didn't have friends. The things her parents kept from her made her that way. They made her socially awkward, not being able to read people, and not having basic social skills. She's been getting comfortable and learning so much since Z-Day. Her father was off her back, and he trusted me. But now he's gone, and she feels awful for it.