soon.

liii.

̶ ̶ liii. I DIDN'T REALIZE YOU HAD TWO SIDES TO YOU.

i. he loves me with every ounce within him. his arms never hold me too tight, but enough to know he's still there. he lets me be free. he kisses me, tells me to be safe. he allows the reflection of my own love fill me the way i've always needed yet didn't quite understand. he talks about a future that holds us. he tells me i'm beautiful when he's drunk. he tells me i'm beautiful when he's sober. he makes me feel like gold, irreplaceable, soft but not fragile. this is the man i had fallen in love with.

ii. he's viscous. with venom on his tongue, his words feel like glass cutting deep into the skin of someone he swore he loves. he leaves purple marks to fade into yellow, but only in places he can see. he swears it's out of love. his fingers leave red behind on my wrist. he once whispered he loved the fear in my eyes. he makes me feel vulnerable, scared, confused but hopeful.

hopeful only when he comes back, promising to never do it again.

and i believe him.
over and over and over again.

because no matter how many times he watches my heart shatter to pieces,

in the morning, he's always there to put it back together.