Chasing After The PA | Complete ✔

Chapter 44 - Between Two Worlds

Adam paced around the room slowly. "Does it really matter right now? No one's going to find you anyway."

"But-"

He suddenly slammed his fist on the wall, "Would you just shut up!"

I flinched and turned my face away. "I'm sorry."

"Look at me."

I kept my face away, I could feel his hot breath fanning on my neck. He was close, very close.

"God dammit, Payton. Look at me!" He grabbed my face and forced it to face him. A lock of his jet back hair fell over his forehead, partially covering the small vain that had popped up from anger. His piercing grey eyes stared into mine, they reminded me of an abyss; bottomless.

I used to love this man.

He was once the very core of where my happiness laid; where it still sometimes did. He was the physical representation of what had made me happy once, and those memories I had with him haunted me.

Tears welled up in my eyes.

"Oh, don't tell me that you're going to cry now," Adam rolled his eyes.

I was reliving everything all over again; all those nights where Adam would physically and emotionally degrade me, and maybe that's why I wasn't as scared this time.

After watching a scary movie once, you don't get as frightened the second time.

"I'm sorry," I whispered, exactly how my sixteen, seventeen, eighteen, nineteen, and twenty year old self did hundreds of times before. I hadn't done anything wrong, but in Adam's eyes, I did.

"No you're not," he spat. "You left me." He grabbed my hair tightly.

I winced, "You hurt me."

"I never did any of that!" Adam argued. "You're just too damn sensitive. I did you a favour by taking you in."

I sniffled, "Did you ever really love me?"

He was taken aback by the question. He furrowed his eyebrows, "I still do."

I felt my heart prick. "I trusted you, and you just- you took advantage of it. You never did love me, you used me."

That was the thing about abusive relationships; it was like boiling a frog.

If you put a frog into boiling water, then it'll quickly jump out. But if you placed it in warm water and slowly heated it up like a hot bath, it wouldn't notice the danger and it would eventually boil to death.

It's hard to leave abusive relationships, because you don't notice the warning signs until it's too late. You sit there, slowly and slowly being destroyed by what you thought brought you comfort but really, you were just some kind of toy.

Rage quickly filled Adam's eyes, "I didn't use you, you're delusional."

"I have scars all over me Adam. Permanent marks from what you did to me," I tried to search for some kind of emotion in his eyes, but there was no presence.

"I think you should get some rest now," He answered instead. He got up, and began to head for the door.

"Wait," I tried to call out.

"I'll be back soon," he called out before slamming the door closed; leaving me in complete and utter darkness leaving me to my own thoughts.

I hoped that Becca was okay, and that she got home alright.

I hoped that Gonzalez, Beckett, Jordan, and Bill would understand what I did, and that it wasn't any of their faults that they couldn't stop me.

I hoped- I hoped that Hunter forgot about me; it was for the best. At least he didn't have to stay to go through all this. I hoped that he was happy wherever he was.