Rimworld: Diary of a Pirate Boss

Entry #17-Spring of Discontent Edition

Day: 109

It's been two straight days of grieving, gripes, and arguments. A lot of the newer crew are mad about what happened. Well, let 'em be mad. They didn't see what I saw.

A prisoner demanded to see me, saying that she wouldn't join our colony even under penalty of death. So I told Sexy Grandmother (who is anything but) to bring her to me in the rec room. When she came him, she was yelling at me, calling me cruel and heartless and a monster. I ordered her to sit down next to me and told Sexy Grandmother to uncuff. I said I'd let her go. Sexy Grandmother was confused, to say the least, so I said Let's watch some TV.

I put on the battle footage from the Star Vampire attack. Then I put on the satellite feed from Tort's colony. These Borg guys breached their base a day earlier. It's a wreck and these things are 'assimilating' the survivors. So I told her that's she's free to go, I won't stop her. But there are enemies everywhere and that secret spaceship everyone talks about is on the northern ice shelf.

She joined our crew. This is my new recruiting pitch; join us or the monsters will eat you. Fail me and the muffalos will eat you. Not quite as catchy as the Londonia Army slogan, but you can't argue with success.

Night

Our one friendly colony stopped by with another trade caravan. New trader since Glitterhair lady died. She says a Titanoboa ate her and three others. Some kinda old Earth genetic enhancement Cenozoic creature.

So after I complained about all the creatures and super aliens and magic cyborg men, she sold me lots of used clothes and bought most of my components, even though I wanted to save those! Starting to wonder if everyone at that colony is magical as well. Oh well, no more naked prisoners at least.

Said she heard a colony to the west, a large militarized one with TONS of rare elements like vancidium is going to have a wedding in six days. What a perfect time to attack!

Some of the guys talked to one of the other traders and they bought some cheap stuff like books. Why not? Our collective pot is more than enough, so I don't see the need to collect silver from the men.

Day 110

Heard some of the new crew whispering near my house when I got up. They said words like 'democracy' and 'voting'. Yeah, whatever. This is a dictatorship, and I'm the dictator.

We need to |sieze|siege| seize that colony. I'm expecting the worst, but with some grit and lots of droppods, we can handle anything. Winto and the crew finished deep drilling and biofuel reactors. We're re-routing the sewage lines to the reactor and building composters to make chemfuel. I'll finish the last Raiderpede which we can use to defend this base, or take with us if we can fit it in. We're going to build lots drop pods, so we need lots of steel. I sent a team north with some muffalos to chop a bunch of trees and bring the wood back.

Some of the guys got together and said they have confidence in me, but they started learning about democracy. I wasn't pleased, so I said that I've been doing the best I can with what we've got. And a lot of y'all suck.

They weren't happy to hear that but said that I was mostly right. SouthernLion said she thinks the newer assblasters may rebel soon, that they're talking about having an election for town leader. I said 'why fight that, when we can use that?' I figure there are more people here who like my leadership than not. When I win, I'll be happy, my supporters will be happy, and the other guys won't complain since I gave them what they wanted.

Night

Called a town meeting after dinner. Said we'll have an election in 10 days and I won't punish anyone for campaigning against me, but they have to respect the results when I win. The newbies are complaining, saying that a rigged election is worse than no election. I said no sore losers, and I'll prove my worth with the next raid. You'll all see...