Rimworld: Diary of a Pirate Boss

Entry #12- Two steps forward unto hell

Day 81

After I sent an assblaster to Green Eggs and Ham for a scouting mission, he reported back that they were well defended with traps aligned a maze and that their doors were locked when he arrived. They were expecting us, it seems. I will talk to the engineers about this when I return.

Having seen the area on the satellite view, I expected soft hills and mountains. I was correct, which is good because I brought pickaxes and the grenades. I decided to dig our way through the mountains and into their cave complex.

Halfway through the dig, we came upon a sieve of gold. Gold!!! And there was a lot of it. I ordered my men to stop advancing towards the base and put all the guys on mining out the gold. We mined out a thousand pieces of gold until the sieve ran out. That's a far better haul than what we would get inside the base.

So, I ordered a tactical withdrawal. Footless Peete says it's a retreat, but it's a withdrawal. It was funny to watch the colonists chase after us as we ran off with their gold. Bet you didn't see THAT coming, bitches!

They forgot the pirate part of pirates!

Heading back to the colony tomorrow. Heard the weird laughing voice again. The others heard it too but didn't see anyone.

Day 83

Evening

We arrived to cheers. Apparently, the crew hasn't had much to celebrate lately. I'm happy because the colony isn't a smouldering ruin again.

The guys I sent out last week should've returned. Those colonies are not far away. The air's gotten cold again. Winter is coming. Eh, they went out with some warm clothes. At least frostbite won't be a concern in the south.

Winto reports that she finished the first stage of robotics, and that we can get computer components from the piles of components our crews have found in the spaceship chunks.

Speaking of which, we lost Fred123 when a ship chunk fell on him when he got into the yayo. Man, he was one of the good guys. Oh well onto the kibble pile with what's left of ya.

Day 84

Day started fine. Had breakfast, Esteban's raid group returned with a prisoner who knows how to make candies. It was all good.

Midway through the morning, I saw some guys I haven't seen in awhile. They were walking funny. It was like they couldn't see. Stumbling around, holding their stomachs. I was in the field, helping the farmers at the time because I wanted to get the last harvest in quickly. I sent half the farmers to help them get to me while I called for Doc.

That's when I saw them. Some had eyepatches on both eyes. Some had peg legs. One guy had 2 peg legs and two hook hands. More of our guys, including the squad I sent last week, began to arrive. They were naked, and they had surgery scars down their backs, missing ears, metal jaws.

One of the ladies heard my voice and she started crying. Then she screamed "THEY TOOK MY EYES! GIVE ME BACK MY EYES!" That scream, it haunts me. Another guy shouted about how I sent them to their deaths. They weren't ready. I asked what they did to him. He said they took his kidney and his ear.

Gallag, one of my best shooters, came back missing both arms. I was pissed. I asked him who did this? He said it was this colony called Angels of the Rim. They're a human-Asari alliance. The Asair are an all-female blue alien with tentacle dreadlocks. They're organ thieves.

Damnit! That was MY schtick! They're horning in on MY action! This cannot stand. I promised revenge.

But another of the missing kidney guys spoke up. He said a human colony did this to him. They've got advanced glitterworld weapons like plasma mortars that wrecked the crew. Great, militarized colonies. Wonderful.

We've got a basic prosthetics bench already set up. But we can't afford bionics for everyone. The doctor says he and Crystal know how to make advanced bionics. We can rebuild our men, he says. That's not good enough, I said. I took out my revolver and shot the cripples in the head. Doc and the engineers were pissed. 

I called a crew meeting and made the following change- never let yourself get captured. Fight to the last breath and carry a grenade at all times. If you get knocked down, detonate it when the enemy gets close. Or wind up like them.

If we're fighting monsters, then we'll become what monsters fear. If that's what it takes to /survive\win, then so be it.