The Bad Boy's Journal

Chapter 23

I still don't understand why I'm reacting this way. I trust him and I care about him and I can't stand the thought of being away from him. He has power over me, he has the power to break me. After Zack cheated I promised myslef I was going to lay low and not give anybody the ability to knock me down again. Diego didn't, instead he built me back up.

He can break you down again faster than anybody. He won't.

You're warming up to him which makes it all the more easier for him to hurt you! He's not like that!

If you care too much you'll only end up being hurt. They all leave anyway. Maybe.

Love is just a joke, it ends betrayal, don't sign yourself up for a death contract. Don't do this to yourself again. They all leave Elena, they all betray you. You've been hurt so much already. Do you really want another hit?

"No, no I don't." I whisper faintly and lean my back on the wall.

"Oh princessa you're there, here take this." Diego passes me a glass of water and I look at him furrowing my eyebrows.

"Don't sign yourself up for a death contract."

"They all leave anyway."

I nod and take the glass splashing the water all over my face. I need to snap out of whatever he has put me in. I'm not letting anyone in. They all leave anyway. The more you care, the easier it is for them to betray you.

"Well you were kinda supposed to drink it." Diego chuckles and I nod drinking the two drops left.

"Happy?" I deadpan and storm into his room. What am I doing? I'm expressing my anger at him when I shouldn't be.

"Princessa I think you should get some rest." Diego gives me a small smile and my whole expression softens from an angry one to a sad one.

"I'm sorry." I sigh and he nods coming closer to hug me. My arms remain by my sides and there's no emotion in the hug. It must feel like he's hugging a corpse.

"Who hurt you?" He asks.

Everybody.

"What's wrong?" He continues and sits on the side of the bed.

I don't want to care and I need to stop caring before I get hurt.

He taps the seat next to him and I remain standing.

"What did I do princessa?" He asks monitoring my reaction carefully. "Why aren't you answering me?"

"You did nothing wrong." I say simply. That's the problem, you do everything right. I'm scared that I'll get attached and then you'll do wrong, just like everyone before you. They all leave, I'm not up for that. I'm not going on an emotional rollercoaster again.

He stands up and takes both my hands into his, staring deeply into my pacific blue eyes. He's trying to read me, trying to figure me out. I haven't done that myself so I doubt you will, Diego. I relish the warmth of his touch, the sun rays he brings into my life. He's always there and I don't know how I'll take it when he leaves, beacuse that's life right? They all go. I don't want to be hurt.

He cups my face in his hands and looks at me with a face etched with worry. I feel his thumb caressing my high cheekbones and my whole body erupts in tingles.