The Bad Boy's Journal

Chapter 16

Elena's POV

Kira: So are you going to tell us why you disappeared without a word or do I need to bring the FBI into this?

Me: I'll tell you some other time right now I've got to go.

Kira: Alright El goodnight.

It's 11pm and even though my eyes are closed my brain just won't shut down. It's been me with my thoughts ever since the beach and I don't know what to think.

There's my answer, when I don't know what to do or think, I ride. I jump out of bed and put on some jeans and a shirt. Grabbing my shoes and leather jacket in a frenzy I slowly unlock the front door and sneak out. I unlock the garage and roll my bike further down the street before revving it up.

Breathing in the fresh night air I cut the corners of the streets. Soon enough I see the forest, a sight I know all too well. It's like a sanctum, a refuge, for when my thoughts won't let me be at peace. I speed up faster and ignore my shortcut. I want to spend more time on the road.

I slow down my bike and take my helmet off. I pull it in towards the woods so it isn't fully exposed. Right now, I want nothing more than to talk to Diego. It's weird, I should be talking to Daniel but instead I want to talk to him.  I need to talk to him. Even though he masked his hurt expression fairly well I know him and I know he's not entirely alright with this situation. Neither am I.

I sigh and let the chilly breeze rack my senses. Ducking under the series of branches I see the clearing. I hear something in the bushes and I break into a sprint to reach my safe spot. Turning around to see if there's anything behind me I trip onto a rock and fall down. But no, being the extra prepared person I am I do a summersault and get up in defense formation. One can never be too prepared.

"Way to make an entrance princessa." Diego remarks with an amused smile.

"I didn't know you were here." I say and look behind me. He nods and continues staring off into the ocean.

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Diego's POV

She takes a seat next to me and looks in the direction I'm looking. I've been in a somber mood all day, they kissed! She pulled away because she saw I was approaching them, they probably want to keep it a secret. I knew she could never be mine. I'm not proud of my actions, my own mother is disappointed at what I've done over the past few weeks.

A part of me knows I'll never have a chance with a girl like her. She's too good for me and I, well I've been with a lot of people to say the least. Worst of all I never was emotionally attached after the first. If you asked me what love is I wouldn't know how to answer you. I'd probably joke it off blabbering something like 'free pizza'.

I was hoping she could be the one to teach me. I didn't want to admit it but she was messing with my head big time. When Daniel gave her that neck kiss on the movie night, just that simple gesture was enough to send my blood boiling. Naturally I did what I always had, I pushed everyone and everything away going back to my fuckboy routines.

Only this time, that wasn't the solution. I've always thought of her, every time I kissed someone else I wished that it would've been her instead, Elena. I want nothing more than to protect and love her but I know that that can never happen, us can never happen. I'm not good for her.

She's the only girl that knew of my past and stayed, mainly because she has had a rough one too. We built each others foundations that night and it's amazing to see how much we've grown. I know I'm not good for her, one day I'll just end up hurting her and I won't forgive myself.