This morning, we took extended family photos. Here are the highlights! (Of course, many of these - read: all - involve my father.)
Me: What are all these wounds on your arm?!
Dad: ...mosquito bites.
Me: YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO ITCH THEM OPEN!!
Dad: I didn't itch them. The bites itched me.
Dad: So I scratched them open.
Me: DAD
*
We were in the middle of taking a photo.Dad: *pinches me*
Me: *through gritted teeth* DAD
*
We were in the middle of taking ANOTHER photo.Me: *through gritted teeth* Remain civil.
*
Photographer: Now put down your heads. On the count of three, lift up your heads and laugh! One...two...three!Dad: *laughing through gritted teeth* I hate my life.
*
Photographer: Now sit on the ground.Dad: I don't know if I can do that.
Me: SIT DOWN
*
Photographer: Now stand up.Dad: I don't know if I can do that.
It took three of us to get him off of the ground...
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Weird Things I Heard in Life 2 | ✓
HumorThese are all completely real, completely screwed-up things I hear in my day to day life...please send help. / There is cussing toward the middle to the end, so guard your innocent eyes. [Highest Ranking #167 in Humor as of 9/7/17]