The Monster in My Veins

Noah William O'Conner (7)

          I feel normal. Without the monster roaming freely through my veins and the constant feeling of soaring through life, I feel as if I could actually become what Bonnie has always wanted me to be. After a few months of being here, the need to inject my favorite fluid into the crease of my arm doesn't occur to me as often as it once did. I've found peace in other things, like reading and writing. My figure has shaped, the activities they have us do build muscle. I look good. Today is the day I can finally go home. Time has flown and I'm excited to see my kids. I can't wait to see how big Rocky is now.

          Derek walks in, "Yo yo yo, man wassup? You leavin' today?"

        "Yeah, I'm goin' home." I give him a smile and a handshake, and then take my suitcases to the front desk. The hot redhead stares back and announces that she's happy about how far I've become.

        "Thanks, Alex. Can I have my keys?" I wait for her as she walks to the back to retrieve them.

          Once I'm back in my oh-so familiar truck, I rev the engine because I've missed what the taste of freedom is like. I wasn't exactly prisoner in there, but the feeling of going home fills my heart with a joy I never experienced when I was high. Going back to my lovely wife and beautiful kids is good enough to keep me off the big H. They are all I need in this life.

         I jam to Avenged Sevenfold while I cruise around the corner to my trailer park. I can't wait to surprise Bonnie. She has no idea I'm getting out today. I hold a bouquet of a dozen roses in my right hand. She's going to be so happy. Once my humble abode swerves into view, I see a gray Nissan parked beside Bonnie's car. I've never seen this car before. I assume it's one of Bonnie's friends as I park beside it.

         The door is unlocked, and I try to be quiet so I don't wake everyone in the house. It's only eight in the morning. Everyone usually starts coming out of their cave around ten. I peep in Sarah and Rocky's room. The two infants are dreaming away. I walk in and gently kiss both of them on their heads.

          I hear laughing coming from mine and Bonnie's room. Oh, good. She's awake. Why is she laughing? The screams grow louder with each step I take towards our bedroom door. The roses rest between my thumb and index finger. The door is cracked, so I push it open.

         My jaw tightens as I witness Patrick between Bonnie's legs, tickling her. They are both half naked with smiles on their faces from ear to ear, giggling like some fucking teenagers. Everything falls silent and the smiles drop the moment their eyes meet mine. "Noah?" Bonnie asks.

         "Oh hello baby, I'm glad to see you and your friend are getting along!" My voice rises with each word I say.

         "Noah, please don't wake the kids..." says she.

         "Oh! You don't want me to wake the fuckin' kids? You were already laughing your fuckin' head off before I walked in, you almost woke them up yourself, bitch!" I throw the roses against the far wall.

          "Hey man, don't call her that." I look in Patrick's direction.

            "Oh I assure you I will call her what I please, after all she is my fucking wife! How was she in bed by the way? I wouldn't know since I've been in rehab getting better for her!" I inch my way towards them both.

            Patrick slides way from between her legs and stands. He's in only is boxers. "Don't you fucking get in my face," I talk through my teeth. Before he has the chance to say anything else I push him against the wall where I threw the flowers. He quickly comes back with a blow to my lip. I stumble, and hear Bonnie scream. In that moment I tackle him to the floor and get on top of him. I can feel Bonnie's hands attempting to pull me off as I continue to hit Patrick. This fucker is stronger than what I was anticipating. He grabs my shoulders and rolls me over. Patrick gets a few good blows in, but stops whenever the sound of Sarah's voice enters the room. "Pat?" she asks.

         He looks at her and rolls off of me. "Oh hey baby, me and your daddy were just wrestling." Sarah begins to cry as she witnesses both of our bloody faces.

         I hold out my arms to her, "Everything is okay honey, we're fine. Daddy's back."

          She walks towards Patrick and I, we are both still breathing heavily and sitting on the floor. Instead of racing to my arms, she stops before Patrick, and he embraces her. "Shhh," he comforts, "Don't worry little Sarah."

         I begin to cry. I never cry in front of people and I try to hold it back, but I soon give up, and break. Bonnie comes over to comfort me, but I wave her hand away. Slowly, I get up, and leave the room.