Maybe the only thing keeping me from overdosing is Sarah and Rocky, my two beautiful children. Or maybe it's my wife. I think she wants me gone. All I do is sit around and trip all day. She works, takes care of the children, cleans, and cooks. I believe the only reason she lets me keep hitting the big H is because if I do OD, everything in my name goes to her. My great uncle died and left me his fortune of 500 large G's. Not sure why, I mean, we were close and all, but I'd figure he'd leave it to my cousins.
How else could I afford the big H? She gets pissed because I keep it in a special account so she can't get to it. "But I have to buy Rocky diapers, Noah. I didn't get paid shit this week," she would tell me. Bonnie works in a nursing home and gets paid by the hour. I don't know how she manages with the bills; she really does get paid shit. This little trailer is cheap anyway, it can't be that much. "Um, it actually is that much, Noah. Because all you do is sit in that chili-stained recliner and watch the T.V. while shooting up. When will you grow up and be a father? Why am I even still with you?" Lord knows I've heard those words come out of her mouth at least three times a week. Out of all honesty here, I do love my family, but they just don't understand how deep I'm drowning in the monster.
I strap a rubber band around my arm and continue the routine. Sarah walks in. "Daddy?" the little girl's soft voice enters through my ears. I look up, needle sticking in my vein. "Oh, hey baby... Just wait one moment, okay?" I turn and inject the rest of the monster, then face the brown eyed six-year old. "Yes?" I question.
"Mommy says you're m' trouble. She said dat we might have to go 'way." Her blonde hair is tangled and matted.
"Oh, of course you won't leave baby," I slide her on my lap, "Mommy is just in one of her moods. She'll be okay again soon." As soon as I kiss her forehead the room begins to swirl. Sarah mumbles something, and I can feel her slide off my knee.
Man, every time I tell myself I'm going to get better, the big H changes my mind. How could I ever get off this joyride? This monster is my best friend. Always been there for me when I'm in need. Nothing ever tastes so sweet. It's a rollercoaster, and I'm never getting off.
The trailer fills with smoke from the cigarette I forgot I lit. Bonnie walks in, takes the tobacco stick, and crushes it in the ashtray. I mildly give her a glance. "Noah," she begins, "I'm tired. All I want is one day to relax and why can't you give me that? You need to take a shower, get out of those piss stained boxers and spend more time with the kids and less time with the needle... Can you talk to me??"
"For fucks sake, Bonnie. Why can't you understand that I can't go one day without this stuff, and frankly, I don't wanna. So either deal with it, or leave me." I'm bluffing.
Her eyes water. "That's it. You have one week. One week to find a good affordable rehab, and get clean. If you don't have your bags packed by Wednesday morning, we're leaving."
YOU ARE READING
The Monster in My Veins
ChickLit{COMPLETED} {MATURE CONTENT} When a dysfunctional family begins to go through unfortunate trials, the only way they can look is down. With a father addicted to heroin and a mother addicted to her coworker, they don't think their family life coul...
