17 : Makeups

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Break up Plan :
Makeups are solely made for every women who desires to use it.

Dedicated to spyhacker - Friend, this is for you

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Makky

"Ako ba ang niloloko mo, Alvarez. Hindi kita maintindihan. You're telling me things that you aren't suppose to tell me. What do you really want" I told him. He cannot make me his playtoy for all he wants.

" I still am hurting, Blue. That's the truth. I will not deny the fact that I am still hurting. Maslalo na kapag nakikita ko kayong magkasama ni Venice. And all I am asking for you to do is to stop making me fall in love with you all over again. Itigil mo iyang mga salitang sinasabi mo sa akin. Blue, naiintindihan mo ba ako?" I asked him. Hindi na ako nagulat pa ng sumbatan niya ako.

" But I can't stop it too, Makky. Hindi ko kayang tumigil. Gusto ko palagi kitang nakikita. Makky, I want to see you everyday. I want to talk to you everyday." I heard him say.

" Gusto, Blue. Hindi naman kase porket gusto mo, 'yun na ang masusunod. Blue, can you even hear yourself? Hindi iyan ang sinasabi ng isang matinong lalaki. You cannot pursue me when you are tied in a relationship and that's practically the reason why I decided to give up my own feelings for you to give way for you and Venice. And now, you are completely making everything complicated." I told him. Hanggang ngayon ba naman kase, ito parin ang problema.

" I need you, Makky. You make me feel at peace whenever I am with you that I don't get to feel when I am with my girlfriend." He almost said in a whisper.

" E ba't mo 'ko binasted? I have given you the chance to speak Blue. That night, halos maging tanga na ako sa harap ng mga kaibigan ko but all I had from you was silence" I told him as a matter of fact.

" I'm drunk" He said

Tipid akong natawa sa sinabi niya.

" Yeah, you're drunk. But I wasn't. Lahat ng mga sinabi ko nung gabing 'yun Blue, lahat yun totoo. Alam ko din naman na masyado mong mahal si Venice para iwan siya para sa akin. Aaminin, I hoped that night. I hoped a lot. Na sana sasabihin mo sa akin na mahal mo din ako but you didn't, you stayed silent." I said. Tipid kong inayos yung sungglasses ko. Medyo nararamdaman ko na ding lumalakas ang sinag ng araw.

" I'm happy, you aren't calling me Potatow anymore. In two weeks time, We're finally going to graduate. Masaya ako para sa lahat. Lalong lalo na 'yo. Apat na taon din kitang hinangaan at minahal, Jaguar. I'll say this now since I won't be able to talk to you anymore after graduation. You are my first love Blue. Maniwala ka man sa hindi, you are the first man I have felt love with. Sayang nga lang at iba ang mahal mo. I am saying this because I wanted you to know everything that I am feeling. And saying this would mean, me letting go of all it already. I don't want anybody else saying you this. Gusto ko, galing mismo sa akin. Blue, I've been your great fan for four years now. I hated basketball but I became tasked to watch it since I want to support you. Kahit minsan dinadaan ko na lamang sa pagtataray ang lahat, it's just my way of covering up things you know. First year, niligawan mo agad si Venice. It was the talk of the whole campus. Venice Chua, The university's editor in chief is being courted by one of the Jaguars who had been you. Siyempre hindi ako pumayag na mangyari 'yun. I nominated myself as one of the officers of the SBA. Ako na ang nagnominate sa sarili ko and luckily, I won. Akala ko non, may chance na akong maging karapat dapat para sa 'yo but it wasn't enough yet. It was my birthday back then, Sabi ko sa sarili ko, sana makatanggap man lang ako ng regalo mula sa 'yo ngunit ibang regalo na pala ang natanggap ko nung araw na 'yun. Sinagot ka na pala ni Venice. I was heart broken that day. Sa lahat lahat naman kase ng puwedeng araw ng pagsagot sa 'yo ni Venice, Sa mismong kaarawan ko pa talaga. That was when I've dicided my break up plan. It was my only choice, Blue. Dahil kahit anong gawin ko, hindi mo ako makikita sa paraang gusto kong makita mo ako. All the times, I envy Venice. I wish I was her. I wish I get to be that close to you. Unlike me, I have been bullied by you. But you what, the part that I really hated so much was the fact that you told me that I was a sister to you. It was a pang in my chest Blue. Four years, Blue, kapatid lang pala ako sa 'yo. But it's okay, I'm slowly moving on with you. Hindi naman ako galit sa 'yo, you don't have any fault to that. You cannot choose whom you will love. Kusa itong sasabihin ng iyong puso. Malas ko nga lang, hindi ako nagpatibok niyan." Tipid akong tumingin sa gawi niya bago ako tuluyang ngumiti sa kanya.

" Huy, Hindi ako nagpapaawa effect dito okay." Saad ko sa kanya.

" What do you want me to do then?" He asked. Ang dami ng sinabi ko tapos, ito lang ang sasabihin niya sa akin.

" Wala, hindi mo din naman kayang gawin eh. I just want you to be happy with Venice. Alam kong hindi ikaw ang para sa akin. Someone out there is for me. Malay mo, makikilala ko na siya ngayon, kung 'di man ngayon, bukas o sa makalawa" I told him. Bahagya kong nakita ang pagkuyom ng mga kamao niya.

" I told you stay unattached, Makky" Mariin niyang saad sa akin.

" That's practically what I am saying, Alvarez. You cannot dicatate what I want to do. You don't have the right to say that too." I told him.

" No" He authoratively said

" I wanted to be happy too" I said

" I wanted that too, I want to feel that with you by my side." He said

What the heck is this man saying?

" Ang labo mong kausap Alvarez" I told him

Ilang sandali pa ng tumunog 'yung phone niya.

I know it's Venice. She's calling.

" Angatin mo na. Hindi ko na iyan mamalditaan pa eh." I said. He was thinking that I would stop him from answering her call.

" I was waiting for you to stop me" He whispered.

" I won't, and I will never do it again" I answered back.

" Babe" He said afterwards.

" I'm sorry, it's just that we have to check on the girls. Captain wants to keep in touch with Gabby. We came here with him. I'll see you tonight. I miss you to. I love you" I heard their conversation clear as water.

He was the one who said I love you to her first.

He was also the one who said I miss you first.

Those words that he cannot even say to me. Words that he will never tell me.

Hindi nga talaga para sa akin ang mga katagang iyon.

It wasn't for me. And will never be for me.

" I love you more" I almost want to cover my ears at the sound of it. Ang sakit parin kase.

I gazed at him and saw him looking directly at me. Nakatingin lamang siya sa gawi ko habang sinabi niya ang huling katagang iyon kay Venice.

" Puwede mo naman siyang puntahan na ngayon. Anniversary niyo kaya dapat lang na kasama mo siya. Si Luis lang naman talaga ang dapat na nandito eh. It's because Gabby's here. You should also be there because Venice's there" I told him.

" You're here, that's why I'm here." He muttered.

I looked at the sea completely ignoring what he said, halos malapit na ding lumubog ang araw. Batid ko din na umitim ako dahil sa sobrang pagbabad ko sa araw ngayon.

" Next time we come here, you won't be wearing that anymore. Ayokong pinagpipyestahan ang katawan mo. I know you have a body that makes every man want to bed you, Makky. You can wear shorts but not bikinis" He muttered.

" Hayaan mo na ako, para naman may manligaw na rin sa akin. I know what I'm doing Blue. I won't just spread out my legs to someone I don't love" I told him.

" You wouldn't Makky. That's not theirs." He said.

I don't want us talking about this kind of matter.

" It's nice celebrating your own birthday you know. For almost three years, I haven't celebrated mine, kaya ko rin siguro nakalimutang masaya magcelebrate ng birthday ko." I told him.

Mom and dad are surely waiting for me at home. We'll eat dinner together later. Buti nga at pinayagan nila akong icelebrate ang birthday ko kasama ang aking mga kaibigan.

" Happy birthday Makky." He almost said in a whisper before handing me something.

Nagulat na lamang ako ng makita ko kung ano 'yun.

It was a necklace with a ring as its pendant.

" That's for infinity, Makky" He whispered before he stood up and wore the necklace on me.

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