The Break up Plan (Completed) [R-18]

40 : Wine

Break up Plan :
There's nothing more sweeter than a glass of wine.

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Makky

Tokneneng at fishball lang ang tanging hawak namin pareho ni Gray habang pinapanood namin ang katahimikan ng parke. Madilim na nga ang gabi ngunit heto't nagtatawanan at nagkukuwentuhan lamang kaming pareho.

" Gusto mo pa?" Tanong niya sa akin. Umiling agad ako.

" Busog na siguro ako. Ikaw ba gusto mo pa?" Balik tanong ko naman sa kanya. Ngumiti lamang siya ng tipid

" Tama na siguro. I think it's too much to bear" Makahulugan niyang saad sa akin. I can sense seriousness in his voice at wala akong nahihimigang kahit anong senyales na nakikipagbiruan siya.

" I cannot love a woman who will never love me back. I cannot fall in love with a woman, who already had fallen in love with someone else. Makky, I thought I still have a chance" He continued, diretso lamang siyang nakatingin sa malayo habang sinasabi niya ang mga iyon.

" Loving you is happiness but loving you is also pain" He laughed at what he said himself.

Ilang saglig pa ng tumingin siya sa akin bago siya muling ngumiti.

" Thank you for being a part of my life Makky. Thank you for the shortest time that you've tried loving me back. Buwan na ang lumipas at hindi na siguro tama kung ipagpipilitan ko pa ang nararamdaman ko. I love you Makky but you love him" Makahulugan niya paring saad sa akin.

" There's no need for you to explain babe. I love you more that I treasure your happiness than mine" Pinasubuan niya ako ng fishball na galing mismo sa stick na kinakain niya.

" I look forward on seeing you happy with the man you love, Makky. Love isn't selfish. Love isn't proud either. Love isn't a lie. Kung mahal mo, gagawin mo ang lahat para makitang masaya ang taong mahal mo." He smiled more. Gusto ko tuloy humingi na lang ng tawag sa kanya dahil sa mga nangyarari sa amin.

" This will leave me a heartache, I'm not going to lie about it. Minahal kita, Miss Garcia kaya ako masasaktan pero hindi ibig sabihin nun hanggang dun na lang ang lahat." He said.

" Gray, patawarin mo sana ako. Him leaving me left me a big emptiness in my heart. I couldn't think of anything else that would make me ease the heartbreak that he left me but to concentrate and pour all of my frustrations in studying. I wanted to forget, Gray. Nung mga panahong walaa akong kasiguraduhan sa lahat, maspinili kong igugol na lang lahat ng oras ko sa pag-aaral. But loving someone else was never my option not until you came." Hangad kong tanging katotohanan lamang ang maisisigurado ko kay Gray ngayon. He deserves to know the truth too. Hindi sapat ang sorry ko kung tutuusin. I've been there. I had always been there all my life when it comes to love. And I know that a simple explanation could change everything.

" I honestly stuggled with the thought of loving someone again. But it came out too hard for me. Sabi ko noon sa aking sarili, paano ba ako magmamahal ng iba kung pati tong puso ko, ayaw kalimutan siya. Sinubukan kong buksan ang puso kong magmahal ng iba ngunit unti unti ko rin lang masnamamahal siya." Madamdamin kong saad sa kanya. He was jusg looking at me the whole time.

" I never thought I would hold on to such words of promises, Gray. Yung pangako niyang babalikan niya ako, pinanghawakan ko iyon. Ayaw ko man aminin sa aking sarili ngunit iyun ang totoo." I slowly closed my eyes.

" Believe me, Gray. I've tried. Sinubukan ko ulit buksan ang puso ko na magmahal ng iba ngunit nawala na lamang ang lahat ng iyon ng bumalik ulit siya ng Pilipinas. He came back not because of business, he came back for me. But you were already in the picture. And I cannot bear the thought of managing two guys asking for my attention. Gray, you deserve better than this. You deserve someone that would love you the way you love a woman. And I don't deserve you, Gray. Napakasama kong tao kung tutuusin pero masmasama ako kung hahayaan ko pang ipagpatuloy natin ito. As much as I wanted to curse at that Alvarez for making my life as bad as this, I cannot do it honestly. As much as I want to just leave him and move on with my life, I cannot do it because I cannot deny the fact that I am so damn madly in love with that man still. Minsan tuloy, napapaisip ako, what is with that man that made me blindly in love with him when all he did was to make me feel lots and lots and emotions. He said he doesn't love me, and will never love me and yet now, he's pursuing me like nothing happened. Ewan ko ba, hindi ko nga talaga maintindihan ang mga Jaguars. Kahit mainis ka man o maasar sa kanila, sa huli, mamahalin mo parin sila" Hindi ko na namamalayang napapaluha na pala ako