Waiting for the Moment (Rizzoli and Isles)

Chapter 5

Tomorrow. I'm getting married tomorrow.

I went upstairs to the bullpen to see Jane

"Maur, you okay?" Jane asked me as I sat down beside her desk.

I looked up at her.

"Jane, I came to tell you that I'm-"

"Wow, you look like you're about to throw up."

I nodded and covered my mouth with my hand.

"Oh, here take this trash can." Jane said as she shoved a trash can in my direction.

I did indeed vomit into the trash can.

"You okay, Doc? Nervous about the wedding tomorrow?" Vince asked.

I shook my head.

"I am fairly certain that this is what morning sickness feels like."

"Morning sickness? Maur?"

"I think I'm pregnant, Jane."

When she just looked at me with wide brown eyes and her jaw hanging wide open, I continued.

"I have an appointment this afternoon. I was going to ask you if you would come with me? I haven't told Joe yet."

"Have you told Lyndzie?"

"Yes. Not intentionally."

"What time is the appointment?"

"2:00."

"So we'll leave around 1:25." Jane pondered for a moment. "Actually, it's 11:40 right now. Why don't we go get lunch? We can go to that restaurant you want to try...maybe if you get the coconut soup your morning sickness will slow down."

"That place is expensive, Jane."

"Who cares?"

"You're going to care when you have to pay your bills this month and you're broke."

"I already paid my bills this month, thank you." Jane said offended. "You are worth going broke for. Come on."

"Jane, you've got to stop that." I said after we got to the car.

"Stop what?" She asked.

"Stop treating me like we're still..."

"Together?" Jane finished.

"Yes. That was in the past. It stays in the past."

"So, you don't feel anything for me anymore?"

"I didn't say that."

"Maura, I do these things and treat you like this because I love you. I know that you love me too, just not the way I love you. I agreed to be your maid of honor, because it would make you happy. I just want you to be happy, if it's not with me then so be it."

"I was happy with you, Jane."

"Obviously, you weren't happy enough."

I put my hand in hers.

"I was happier than I had ever been. If I remember correctly, it was you who was unhappy. You cheated on me, Jane."

"I know."

"And I told you-"

"I know, you can't be with someone who cheats on you or runs every time they're unhappy. I know Maur, but it was one time. It wouldn't have happened again."

The rest of the ride to the restaurant was quiet. It wasn't until after we pulled into the parking lot, that I realized I had held Jane's hand the whole time.