Waiting for the Moment (Rizzoli and Isles)

Chapter 22

A/N: Hey guys! I felt wrong about the way I left this story, so I decided to add some more to it. I hope you enjoy it. -Katie xoxo
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Life was never the same after I had to stay in prison. I pulled away from most people. Especially Jane. I thought she was dangerous. I thought she was mean.

When I turned 18, I packed my shit and ran off to California with my boyfriends band. Obviously, the band thing didn't work out, so he went to film school and I went to college to be a teacher. He asked me to marry him shortly after he graduated. I said yes. Before we could get married, he had been in a car accident, which killed him. So, I moved to Texas and became a CNA so that I could help take care of people. Then, I got a call that my adoptive mother was captured tortured, shot, and killed by a serial killer. She was the only thing I had left.

When I traveled back to boston, it was only supposed to be to make sure that everything for moms funeral was prepared and went smoothly. I brought my little brother to Texas with me, but he hated being in Texas. He wanted to move back to Massachusetts. He wanted to be near his Mama Jane. For his eighth birthday, I decided we'd move back, but I wanted little to do with Jane.

Pulling up to that house for the first time was just as terrifying as I imagined it would be. Things were said and hearts were broken in that house. I was young and damn, was I stupid. My brain knew that Jane couldn't have stopped the man from torturing my mother. My heart only knew the pain of losing yet, another mother in my lifetime. I never forgave Jane for not getting me out of that prison, so when I heard that Jane was there when that evil man killed my mother, all I could see was that Jane let another one of us get hurt. I didn't think about the fact that she watched her wife get brutally murdered right before her eyes. Like I said, I was young and stupid. Now, here I am, standing in the driveway, wondering how in the hell I'm going to get Jane to forgive me. Because life is short, and I want to reconcile with her, before something happens to her too.

I felt like I had waited an eternity for her to answer the door, and I was surprised when she opened it even wider to let me in. Without a word I crossed the threshold.

We were both quiet. She looked at me with sad eyes, the same way she did when I left for Texas.

"I'm so sorry."

That's all I could say without crying. Her tears were threatening to spill when she started speaking.

"Being a parent is like a waking nightmare. You try to do what's best for your children, you try to care for them and nurture them, and sometimes it doesn't matter how hard you try, they still end up hating you anyway. They say horrible things to you and treat you badly because, to them, you are the bad guy. That's fair. You dictated their life up until this point, and clearly you did something bad enough to make them hate you forever, but it never matters what horrible things your children do or say to you. They can scream about how much they hate you until they are blue in the face, but that is never going to change how much you love them. Unconditional love is exactly that- unconditional. I will never forget all the hurtful things you have said to me over the years, but I will always forgive you for them, because nothing you say to me will make me love you any less. You are my daughter, Lyndzie."

I stared at her, still holding back tears.

"I can't imagine how much you have been hurting over the years, and I am so sorry for that. I should've apologized. I am in the wrong. I never should have blamed you for Maura's death. There was nothing you could do. I was so insensitive toward you and your feelings, and I took your son away. I'm just so sorry for all the pain I have caused you."

A tear escaped from my eye, then from Jane's. She walked around the kitchen island and wrapped both of her arms around me, enveloping me in a hug that was long overdue. We stood like that for a long time before either one of us pulled away. Being in Jane's arms brought me some kind of closure, and when she pulled away, and looked me in the eye, we both knew that everything would be okay, and that all was right in the world once again.