Phantasm (Phantasm, #1) - Camila/You

Chapter 12 [📱]

"So you think I made the wrong choice," I said matter of factly. The horn blares seemed so distant from where I stood. The thought pulled me back to the small town I grew up in. It seemed so distant now too.

"No, I think it's perfectly okay for you to accept."

I went back inside my room and sank down on my bed. "Is it?" I asked. "Even when I know if she had the choice she wouldn't feel the same?"

A small smile played on Phantasm's lips. "What's the difference between your wish of being a singer to your wish of Camila loving you? Aren't you just forcing them both? Aren't they both just fake? And yet you feel guilty for having fake love but not fake money?"

"I—It's different," I stuttered. "I didn't step on anyone's feelings when I became a singer."

"What about the ones who should've won the Grammy instead of you? What about the ones that should've produced albums instead of you? The only reason you think they're different is because you physically see the extent of your wish when you're with Camila and the producers and singers you booted out are only nameless, faceless casualties to you."

"What are you saying?"

"All I'm saying is, if you're comfortable enough living this singer-songwriter life knowing you don't deserve it, then why not live this life knowing you don't deserve Camila's love?"

I know Phantasm was only trying to help but her words still cut deep. I knew Camila didn't love me, I would never forget the words she uttered that fateful night. But hearing someone else say it left me with a chill shot straight through my bones.

"Wow, that—that hurt," I whispered.

Phantasm sighed. "The truth is even if you're living a fake life, it's still life. And what do you do when you make mistakes in life? You learn from them and live with it."

I smiled. One of these days I needed to ask how old Phantasm was because she was always lecturing me like a grandmother.

"But," she continued, "as I said before, you're gonna get hurt because it's not real. The question here now... is Camila worth it?"

"Yes," I replied, not letting another second pass by. There was no doubt in my mind Camila was the only girl I will ever, truly love. If there were any doubts before, they were all gone the moment I heard her sing our song.

"Then that's your answer, ain't it?"

In all honesty, I didn't talk to Phantasm because my feelings were wavering. I was still resolute on loving Camila with all of my heart. But, oddly enough, I wanted to hear Phantasm tell me that what I did was right. I wanted her approval which, I had to admit, surprised me. I didn't know how or when but before I knew it she became someone I can trust—a confidant.

And now her telling me that it was okay to live my life, albeit by poking at the fact that everything around me wasn't genuine, only made my resolve to see this through stronger.

"P, buckle down," I said, smirking. "I got some wishing to do."

-//-//-//-//-//-

"Macy, help!"

"Oh my god, Y/N!" I heard a car door open and close followed by hurried footsteps getting closer and closer to me.

"Can't... breathe," I wheezed. Bad idea trying to carry this meter tall suitcase all by myself. I misjudged the weight and ended up falling flat on my ass with the case on top of me.

"Holy shit! Hold on, Y/N!" exclaimed Macy.

It took both our efforts to push the suitcase away from my chest. And not a moment too soon because I could feel my rib cage threatening to give any second now.