50 Ways To Kill Your Boss

5. Poisoned Blowdarts (Perry's Backstory)

"Hey Jay, we're starting a campfire out on the beach. You wanna join?" Brock asked as Jay was about to head up for bed.

Jay hesitated. He was pretty tired, and he prides himself on not being bribed very easily.

"We're going to have a conversation that is vital to the plot so your attendance is mandatory."

"I don't know..."

"We have s'mores."

"...fine." Jay grabbed his Sea Chantey survival kit and followed Brock out into the hallway.

"I've been meaning to ask, Jay-man. What brought you to the Sea Chantey hotel for work?"

"A bus."

"No, I mean why did you pick here?"

"Oh, I guess I haven't really got any better place to go. I was homeless before this."

"You go to college?" Brock led him down the stairs.

"Yep."

"That explains the homeless part."

"Yeah, the streets are pretty rough. And the sidewalk's not much smoother."

"What about your folks? They didn't want to help out?"

Jay pushed open the door to the outside and they stepped into the grass. "My mother passed away."

"Oh my god, what happened?"

"She held in a sneeze."

"Oh that's awful."

"Yeah, and my father was a God so you know, he wasn't around much."

"Dude, you're a demigod!?"

"Well, I don't believe in God, so now I'm just an orphan."

"We'll, we'll, we'll." Brock said, surprised to find that everyone had shown up at the fire.

"You mean, "well well well." Claire said.

"What did I say?"

"You used apostrophe's in the wrong place."

"So did you."

"Touché."

"Hey guys." Marley ran up. "I got the potato salad." She bent over her knees to catch her breath.

"I got the graham crackers." Kyle held up a box.

"Way to go, kid."

"My name is-" Kyle started

"What?" Eminem said.

"My name is-"

"Who?"

"I give up." Kyle said. "Get out of this fucking story, Eminem." Kyle scooped some potato salad between two Graham Chapman crackers and poked a stick through the middle. He held it over the open flame and it almost immediately slopped into the fire. "Perfect" he said. He took a bite out of the stick.

"Who knows some scary stories?" Marley rubbed her hands together excitedly.

Everyone raised their hand.

"Not about me."

Everyone put their hands down.

"Can somebody explain why we keep killing our boss?" Jay asked.

"I got this." Marley said. "T'was a dark and stormy night..."

"No, I believe it was more of a "scattered showers" type of deal." Brock corrected.